Tena Korza
by Blue Eyes At Night
Summary: My take on the events after Force Awakens where we learn why Kylo Ren turned to the Dark Side and what, if anything, can release him from its thrall. WIP (see Author's Note) "Who could blame Ren for being attracted to her? Hux shook his head- he thought her naked adoration of Kylo Ren was a waste of a beautiful woman..." Rating increase possible (to M)
1. Chapter 1

**Important Author's Note:**

Howdy All, I've been a fairly consistent presence here for more than a decade and I really love it here (though being much closer to 30 than 20 makes that seem like such a bigger declaration of loyalty). In that time I've come to know myself and how I write- some of you have been the sad victims of my lack of updating. That's probably because I don't write chronologically but Fanfiction sort of indicates it wants you to post chronologically. **Therefore I have a new method: this is a work in progress, an extended novella in the form of a one-shot, and when it is updated the updates could be at any point in the action. Beginning, middle, end, who knows.** I'll be updating as the writing shows up in my head. Welcome to the chaos- I recommend story alert for the best odds of getting the full effect.

* * *

 **Obligatory Force Awakens Note:**

I think it's important if we are putting out post-Force Awakens stories before any of the other flicks come out that we post a warning as to which theories we buy into. I buy that Rey is Han and Leia's daughter, Ben's twin, and that when Ben went bad she survived. Luke found her and in order to protect her he dropped her on Jakku with a wiped memory so that her brother couldn't find her (after all, the Force seems to have to do with consciousness and conscientious connections or else how would Obi-Wan be able to hide from Vader or Luke and Leia not instantly recognize one another?). Ben, Leia and Han all believe she is dead and, clearly, her real name isn't Rey. If this bothers the hell out of you, you probably want to stop reading around 3/4 of the way through.

Cheers and happy reading.

* * *

Tena Korza

The ship was moving smoothly along and the space around them was devoid of debris. It would seem like a peaceful journey but something was not sitting right in Tena Korza's stomach….a diplomatic ship, one covered in the Ke'Lani flag, should be able to move through this corridor of space without any problem. The fighting between the Rebellion and the First Order was two systems over and, at any rate, had been quiet for nearly a week. The Republic had just had another failed debate, another vote stagnated by the equal forces of First Order and Rebellion supporters in the hall, and Tena had noted that the neutral parties were beginning to diminish. The near future would tell if the Republic or First Order would be the ones to gain the upperhand and political sway necessary to make big decisions. Not for the first time was Tena disappointed, frustrated even, by the absence of the New Jedi: not so many years ago the New Jedi had been a voice for peace, careful thought, diplomacy.

Something about the atmosphere, the very air, wasn't right.

She sat, reclined on a seat that was a full window, and watching the stars plod passed her. She had been sitting at her father's feet on the Senate floor since she was five years old. Many years on the Senate floor had taught her when a fight was brewing…

She wasn't surprised when the alarms began ringing.

* * *

"Your reputation precedes you, Councillor Korza. Starships are rarely taken with so little effort." His voice was deep and lilting as though it really wanted to sound like something other than it was.

"I am not alone Kylo Ren- I might have guessed that the first Knight of the Ren would be the one to take a diplomatic starship. Might I ask what you intend to do?"

She was calm, almost unnervingly so, as though she was taken hostage by Republic aggressors every day. Some of the surrounding officers were discomforted by her demeanor but Kylo's masked face betrayed nothing, nor did his words.

"You had a very interesting time at the Senate, Councillor. You keep very lofty company- General Organa. I am most interested to hear of the overtures being made by her towards the Ke'Lani."

Tena Korza's mouth curved gently, "Terribly afraid of an army of devoted pacifists?"

Ren merely waved a hand and troopers cuff her and lead her away, she presumed to a cell. She stood for the troopers and followed them, following them in utter calm until the door opened to the room she was going to be staying in and the questions began bubbling in her mind. She assumed she might go to one of the torture chambers that the General had just warned her about a few days before. Nothing shocked her as much as the dull gray door opening and a bedroom laid before her. The room was dominated by two structures: a large training circle and a four poster bed. One of the walls was a giant window that watched the entire galaxy go by and everything was heavily strewn in rich black velvets, sumptuous dark leathers and silks except for neutral mats of the training rings.

She expected the room might have belonged to Hux given the luxuriousness of the fabrics, he struck her as a man that enjoyed his fine things even in the muck and mire of a military ship, but the training circle brought her attention back the Knight. She might have guessed it if she had tried but she had been avoiding the thought...thus it had found her. She was sitting there, bound, facing the thoughts she had been so bent on neglecting. Perhaps they hadn't aimed to torture her the traditional way but they were succeeding in doing so nevertheless. She was in the room over an hour before the voices came from outside, arguing, scolding, and the shuffling. The door hissed open and General Hux stormed through. Tena recognized him from recent images though she had never seen the man in person before and was taken aback by his height- she imagined him much shorter when she saw the images. Hux inclined his head at her briefly and she stood, mimicking the gesture. He took in a breath sharply- he had been told that she was beautiful but he found the word lacked the proper qualities now that he beheld her. She was jarring, so beautiful that it was startling. The Ke'Lani had the reputation, on his homeworld, of being called _Akera Santi -_ Full Moon Walkers -and _Ikken Sanctum -_ Ice Angels. It was not that Ke'La had any frigid weather to speak of but rather that its inhabitants seems carved out of the snow and ice that peaked dangerous mountains while it glowed under the full super-sized moon where Hux had grown up. The Ke'Lani's skin was milky white and their hair was almost pearlescent, there was a slight glow to the white it wasn't the same dead shade of absence that colored his grandmother's hair before she died. No the Ke'Lani were radiant in their colorlessness, there was a spark to it. Most of them had blue or purple eyes he had been told- something to do with their pigmentation- but hers were golden. Warm, soothing and crystal clear as amber- he had never seen anything like it.

 _So this is why he did it_. Hux's immediate thought was- what other reason could there be? She was a diplomat, flying neutral colors, in a non-aggression zone and given the fairly recent destruction of Star Killer base Supreme Leader Snoke had been explicit that they gain allies for the time being rather than attack. Many of their numbers had been on Star Killer and not all had escaped- it would take them a little time to bolster the rosters again and in the meantime they were to gain soldiers through less aggressive means. Of course the on-going order was to end the Rebellion if possible: to interrogate their spies, kill their suppliers, and eliminate their high ranking officers. Of course the Ke'Lani, sworn neutral state of the entire galaxy, hardly qualified for either order and Snoke had once remarked that they were not to be quarreled with. At the time Hux had thought it merely a tease but as soon as he walked in the room and saw her he was sure of something, in the marrow of his bones: this was a powerful creature. She might be docile enough, she might have no interest in wielding the power, but it was there; time had taught Hux that power was like teeth: anything that had it could use it if need be. Hux was hardly Force sensitive but his time around Snoke and Ren had trained him to fear the sensation that he got in his lungs when the art felt sparky and electric: it was the sure sign of the Force in an opponent and no small amount of it.

Hux was so caught up staring at her and realizing her power that he became lost in his thoughts and there was an uncomfortable silence which she felt compelled to break, "Yes sir? Is there anything I can help you with?"

Hux shook his head and felt his cheeks burn, humiliated by his lapse, and looked around again- prisoners had no business in this wing at all, "It seems there has been an error, you are being moved to a more proper cell."

"There is no mistake." The voice echoed from the hall. Hux startled slightly- he normally heard Ren approach.

If Hux was tall Ren was towering- she realized it was Ren's height that made her think of Hux as a short man, she had seen so many images of the two of them beside one another, Snoke's two golden children. _Of course everyone looks small next to him_.

Hux turned to face Kylo Ren and cleared his throat, "This is unacceptable-unorthodox-if it is not a mistake. I hardly think that the Supreme Leader would approve of such barbaric methods being used on the lady."

Ren tilted his head slightly to the side as though Hux had said something profoundly amusing and very annoying. After a moment he raised one hand, gesturing lightly, "You are right, General. Barbarism is not to be tolerated with the Councillor."

When he flicked his fingers the handcuffs chafing her wrists popped off and flew across the room, landing squarely against Hux's chest, forcing the red-headed man to step back and absorb the shock. Ren seemed amused and said, "Our guest is likely hungry, make sure they bring her food she can eat. Nothing that was killed."

Hux's cheeks grew redder and he looked at Ren's mask. He had learned that if he shouted in his head that Ren could hear him though he rarely liked to play a game where the former Jedi was allowed in his head. Most of the time Hux kept a carefully constructed wall around his thoughts, a wall he focused on whenever his mind began to wonder from its task, so that he was assured of some degree of privacy. For right now however he glared at Ren and silent shouted: _Whatever it is you are doing here you are not going to get away with it_.

Inside Hux's head he heard the dark, echoing chuckle of Kylo Ren and the playful response: _Try to stop me._

Hux left in a huff, immediately setting out for the private chamber where they communicated with Snoke- this unchecked spoiled behavior in Ren was going too far as of late and capturing a neutral ship, one they had been told to avoid, was one cheeky declaration of negligence too many for Hux.

Tena watched the General leave and rubbed her right wrist which was looped with a light purple bruise from the pulsing handcuffs. As the door closed behind Hux she looked over at the imposing figure by the door. Ren cocked his head to the side as he looked at her, it seemed to be a habit he developed to emote even vaguely through his helmet (though she wondered if that rendered the helmet somewhat useless) and he gestured to the room, "Make yourself comfortable, guests do not need to sit in restraints."

"I have, perhaps, not made something clear to you in our first conversation." Tena's eyes were odd, while the faced him so he knew she was addressing him she wasn't focused on him- she seemed to be looking just over his shoulder but he sensed nobody else around them, "That mask is an act of terror-you do not wear it to breathe, you do not wear it to see or to sustain yourself. You wear it to frighten people. I am not frightened, and I will not contribute to your delusion that it is somehow acceptable to terrorize people on first glance. Guest or not, I will not be answering any questions from you as long as that mask is on."

With that she promptly sat down on a hard leather bench beside the training ring and looked out the window across the room. Her white hair was pulled back as it had been for the Senate, it was in a long soft braid that started at the crown of her hair and went all the way down her spine. Her eyes were hard as rocks and he knew better than to toy with her now and let her prove the iron resolve of the Ke'Lani to be true.

The door opened behind him and a Trooper came in, "Sir, Supreme Leader Snoke desires a word with you."

"I will return." He said, shifting his cloak around him, drinking in the sight of her one more time, "Please make yourself comfortable."

She didn't say a word, as promised, but somehow the icy reception did nothing to break the sense of victory in his breast.

* * *

It had been two days since she had been on the ship and still she had not spoken a word to him though she was living in his chambers. She had been provided with clothes, food, and given full access to his private bath. She needed no guards but he posted Phasma outside of the door when she bathed so she knew she was being guarded by a woman- not that the Ke'Lani had a reputation for being shy but he was trying to show her that she was being respected.

Snoke had permitted him to try this form of questioning- polite, even courteous- and hadn't pushed Ren on his reasons. He did not think he had any secrets from Snoke, not really, but he hadn't recalled discussing her by name. It was so many years ago, a lifetime it felt like, and Snoke really owed her with providing him the necessary leverage to lure a young Jedi away from his master- though Snoke was fairly certain that remained a mystery to the girl. Ren found himself, he hoped, in the unique position where Snoke and Tena were both in the dark enough about one another that he might be able to get precisely what he wanted from both. Hux eyed him with great suspicion, always suggesting that "This has nothing to do with the Rebellion's overtures with her."

Of course Hux was right- the Rebellion's overtures had provided him with the necessary excuse but secretly he had been watching her for the last few years, waiting for the moment to bring her back to him again. Of course it was important that Snoke not know it was her- Snoke assumed Ben Solo's old lover was dead, as Ben had assumed it years ago, and Kylo Ren had never let on that Tena Korza was precisely the woman that he had once been so devastated over losing. So devastated that he slaughtered hundreds trying to quell the pain, trying to erase the past or re-write the future, always feeling like his reactions were inadequate to the task of stemming the suffering. She had always been a puzzle- half pulling him toward the Light and half toward the Dark, never telling him which side to choose, always insisting that there didn't have to be a side (an assertion he found both ridiculous and unamusing).

Still, Tena Korza, golden daughter of the Ke'Lani, was too great a potential candidate for Snoke to pass up. The Ke'Lani had been sworn neutral ever since they broke with the first Jedi Temple over five thousand years ago. Most people had no idea that they were Force Sensitive because there had never been a Ke'Lani Jedi but Snoke and Ren knew differently- the Ke'Lani were an old race and every last member of the planet was Force sensitive. Tena's family, old royalty for millennia beyond counting, were particularly strong.

 _I can do it Master, I can convince them. I can move them. I can bring them to our cause, but the Ke'Lani will not be moved with force and strength. If you want to move the Ke'Lani you must do it with respect and care._

 _I will not have her kept here beyond a week. You must make considerable progress in that time or that harmless party of diplomates who surrendered their ship without firing a single shot will show you precisely why a planet as peaceful has Ke'La has never been victimized in any capacity._

It would not be fair to say that Snoke feared the Ke'Lani but he seemed to think that history had taught a particular lesson with them repeatedly-and he would be a fool to ignore it. Ren let him believe whatever it was he wanted to believe, and Ren could care less what Hux thought provided he did not interfere. However Hux was a man with functional eyes and it seemed as though he very much enjoyed laying them on Tena as he entered Ren's quarters almost as much as Ren did, much to the annoyance of the Knight.

Tena had not spoken a word to him and his impatience was rising. He removed himself from the room early on the third morning and pushed himself training with a hologram of Snoke looking on, disapproving, rubbing his nose in his lack of success with the Ke'Lani ambassador, reminding the Knight of how small a boy he still was behind his imposing mask. Training with Snoke was always like this- the push was necessary, it exposed the raw nerves of the Force, the Dark Side, to Kylo and made them easier to manipulate. Still, he was off of his game and the taunts cut deeper than usual, broke Ren's concentration, and he found himself on the receiving end of some very high charges from the training droid.

By the time he returned to his room he was heralded by the wafting smell of burned fabric and seared flesh.

Tena turned toward the smell instantly from her perch by the window and even when she saw Ren slumping into the room she watched him closely, but did not speak. He looked over at her- it didn't matter to her that he was a murderer, he was hurt and the Great Tenet of the Ke'Lani was _All Life is Sacred_. She could no more watch him be in pain without helping him than cause him pain outside of defending herself.

Still, this wasn't how he was hoping to gain her attention, not when he was weakened and feeling low.

"My lady Korza you have been so apt to ignore me these last two days. Please do so now. Avert your eyes, I have to dress this wound and I would rather do it without your gaze on me."

She continued staring at the same spot he had occupied when he first entered the room even when he left it and moved toward the small sleep-couch that had been put up beside the training circle. Though he had not used it since she had been here there were more nights spent on that small couch than in his gaping bed- the couch reminded him of comfort, of something that might be called home. Underneath the couch was his medical kit- he refused to let the medic droids and drones attend to him, it was vital they not see him as weak and made of breakable flesh. Vader had been a machine, unshakable, bloodless, and Ren aimed to achieve the same aura.

As he walked over to it he let his cape fall off and began gingerly peeling at his tunic. His gloves came off and, without thinking of it, so did his helmet. He did breathe easier without it and it restricted his neck movement more than he needed to stitch his own torso up again. It fell to the floor with a dull metal thud and he was stripped to his pants, threading a needle, when he heard the near-noiseless pad of her feet bringing her towards him.

"I thought I asked that you keep ignoring me?" He snapped.

"What happened?" Her voice was soft, soothing, as though she was trying to calm a fidgety animal.

"Nothing my increased focus wouldn't have prevented." He moved to begin his stitches but she gently reached forward and took the needle from him, saying mildly, "I'll do this- you will never get it properly closed on your own."

He surrendered, cheeks warm with rage that with all his careful planning and gentle treatments of her since she came on board that _this_ , _this humiliation is what drew her back to him_. His back was still to her but the wound curled around his side and she would see his face sooner or later- he wondered if she had guessed at his former-self already. Wanting to make her feel as uncomfortable as he did he turned around and looked her in the eye- her gaze was steady, her face had the even expression the Ke'Lani were known for, but he saw her pupils dilate and heard her pulse begin rushing. Scarred face and all: she recognized him.

"Do as you will, Tena. You always did."

For a moment her hand with the needle trembled and she had to take a breath and steady it before she merely tucked her head down and got to work on his stitches. Mostly it was the needle that touched him but she had to get closer- she had to reach a hand out and pull at his skin, smooth out a curve so the stitch would lay flat, she had to gently push or pull him into position. She worked fast and before he realized that she was done with his back she had lifted his arm and tucked herself on his side. As she curled into position she let one hand run over the gnarled scar that crawled over his waist from the Bowcaster- it was nearly done healing but it would never go away, a permanent souvenir she didn't even want to try to comment on. Where he was sitting on the couch made it hard for her to crouch or kneel as she worked so she wound up having to sit with one leg wrapped around his back and one leg wrapped around his front. He wondered if that sent the same chills up her spine that it sent up his- he wondered if it took her back to another time when even stitches might have been a mere stepping stone to naked wonderment, where they had been inseparable and enthralled. He had so few ways to accurately describe that time in his life- it was love, certainly, but more. It was devotion, perhaps. Perhaps worship. Maybe obsession. Maybe it was lust-overwhelmingly, all-consuming lust that couldn't be quenched by his younger body- maybe if they had it all to do again now that they were older they would find themselves unmoved by one another.

Or maybe only he remembered those days with such a fever, maybe she had forgotten.

He hoped not.

That hope, distant and odd to him, brought him back into a skin he thought he had abandoned- brought him back to a cage of emotions he wasn't certain he still possessed until Tena's touch had him clawing at the bars of it again. There it was- that bottomless thirst, that _need_ , that knowledge that somehow she was the answer and he wasn't sure how to get enough of her but he knew he would try.

Tena paused in her efforts and looked at him as though she could see the fury of feelings clashing about inside of him. When he looked up at her eyes she smiled, but it was sad. Holding the needle in her right hand she reached out her left and traced the burned scar on his face. Tears were suddenly in her eyes and she didn't ask the question but looked down at the work again until she cleared her throat, "What happened?"

He touched his scar, considering how to phrase the mistake, "Underestimating someone."

She nodded and finished his side, tying the end of the stitch off neatly, "We've all done that at one point or another. It takes you by surprise-hopefully you recover from it."

He nodded, "Did it happen to you?"

She looked back up at him and he saw the warmth and glitter he remembered in her eyes, they shined like polished gems, "Yes, but I didn't get a visible scar."

He caught the loose thread of her words, "Did you get an invisible one?"

"Not a scar." She reached out a hand and pushed his hair back behind his ear, "A brand, perhaps, is more accurate a description."

The feeling of her fingers in his hair was somehow worse than her fingers closing up a wound, somehow more intimate than her legs wrapped around his body. He shut his eyes for the brief moments she touched him in that way and absorbed it, he didn't mean to but he heard himself release a quiet moan. When was the last time someone had touched him so sweetly?

His eyes were still closed but her body shifted off of him and he felt instantly disappointed, every part of him wanted to scream for her to come closer, to reach out and pull her back, but instead he opened his eyes and watched as she stood in front of him, crouched down so they were at eye level as he sat on the couch. Her expression was curious, her tone however was sharp as a knife, "I'm not here because of the Rebellion. You don't care that your mother talked to me at the Senate, do you?"

He blinked when she said the word mother, "Not particularly...did the Rebel General tell you what happened?"

"You...killed ... _him_." Tena had picked up on his aversion to the word _mother_ and felt that _father_ might not be more appealing.

Ren waved his hand as though an annoying insect was in the room, "I meant did she tell you what happened with me?"

"Parts of it. Parts I found out...then there are the parts I'm sure she doesn't know and couldn't tell me."

He smiled, "Part you could've told her….I'm not sure I ever got to tell you before how very relieved I was to find out that you were actually alive."

Tena reached out and traced the scar on his face with the tip of one diligent finger; fascinated by the jarring addition to a face she once had memorized. He couldn't help it-he had waited long enough and he reached both hands out to her and cupped her face. His eyes were misting now as he looked at her-eight years, had all that time really passed? She was still beautiful, still looked fragile as glass in his hands but he knew she wasn't so delicate. He had held her just like this the last time he had seen her- just before she walked on board a starship that would be found with bodies on it months later, bodies burned beyond recognition and half eaten, and she would be declared dead. He had held her face, looked in those eyes, promised himself that the kiss he gave her on that landing platform wasn't going to be the last and that she was going to come back to him; he had promised himself that she would be safe without him there with her, that nothing could harm someone he had loved so deeply. For so many years he believed that promise to be broken, eternally unfulfilled, a constant reminder of his weakness and failure, and here she was again- an unlooked for second chance at strength and success.

"I missed you." He pulled her in for a kiss-praying she let him, knowing there would be no hope if she resisted, but the next sensation he received was not the Force thrusting him into a wall on the opposite side of the room. No, it was her lips, just as soft as he remembered them. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and Tena, mighty among those with stony faces, sobbed for a moment against him, breaking the kiss long enough to whisper, "I missed you too Ben."

He wanted to react to the name, to push it off, but Tena was against him and he could feel nothing else. She pushed gently forward and slide herself on top of him on the couch- time seemed irrelevant to them. As far as their bodies knew it was eight years ago and all they could think about was satiating that seemingly endless hunger.

 _Closer._

 _Yes...more...please._

 _Harder-don't stop._

 _Touch me-please touch me._

How had he forgotten how magnificent it was? When their walls came down all their walls came down- her body wasn't just hers to command but was seamless with his, he moved instinctively with her, intuitively, guided by the current of the Force that was suddenly rippling through both of them in unison as though it was water and they were one lake instead of two rivers. He had never known this with anyone before her and, try though he might have, he had never found it since. It seemed like something Tena alone offered- something he would live his whole life looking for- that utter oneness with everything: her, himself, the Force around them.

 _Great Ke'la touch me again-it's been too long._

 _It's been hell- it's been cold and empty. Just touch me until I forget anything else._

He was too focused on her, too focused on them, too absorbed. He didn't even remotely realize that Hux had been at the door and listened in long enough to be under absolutely no illusions about what was happening. From Hux's pocket he took a small recorder droid- it fit in the palm of his hand and was capable of basic recording and transmission data, though it lacked sound; it was used to great effect in the back of the ranks during training exercises for pulling up mistakes and forcing the troops to re-watch them. He opened the door just long enough to place the droid on the inside of Ren's chamber and then he slipped away- he didn't need to stay and spy, the droid would do it for him. And Hux had a feeling this information could be wielded to inflict greater damage than even the great Kylo Ren's mighty lightsaber.

* * *

Kylo Ren reclined in bed, relaxed, calm, and waking from a deep sleep-his first deep sleep in countless months. One arm was curled under his head, the other had been warm underneath Tena but was cold now. He opened his eyes and quickly searched the room- he didn't have to use the Force to find her, he didn't fear she had run away, but he wasn't surprised to find her in front of his giant window. She had always been a big believer in meditating, he wasn't shocked that her eyes were partially closed as she watched the stars flickering in and out of view. She was a picture of peace to him- she was laying on the plush black rug, propped up on one elbow. It was not Luke's form of meditation- none of her peace, her calm, her methods had been of the Jedi. She was pure Ke'Lani. She had drawn the one white sheet from the underlayer of his bed and dragged it toward the window, it was draped around her. From where he laid in bed he could see the outline of her back go quite low until the sheet concealed her from him. Though it was impossible for anyone to spy on her from the open window he was happy she was covered- he'd be happy to be the only one to ever enjoy the sight of her again. He heard the slight humming, low and slow, that seemed to vibrate from her. Ren rose from the bed and walked over to her-his scars seemed to glow like her skin, when approached her he knelt down, laying beside her, and the darkest thing between the two of them was his hair and his still-burning new gash, doomed to join the long line of scars he currently hosted. When he curled his arm around her the humming stopped and her eyes opened, she turned her head to smile at him, "You were so peaceful, I couldn't bear to wake you."

 _"Paca seen bah rin."_ He replied seamlessly.

"Peace is the greatest reward." Her smile widened, "And I thought you must have long forgotten your lessons in Ke'Lani."

"No," He pulled her gently, rolling her onto her back so he could hover over her. As always she yielded-the sheet fell below her waist and he ducked his head down and let his lips trace over her ear as he repeated the phrase she had taught him years ago, _"Lek Forkå Se."_

He remembered it all these years like it was yesterday- that first night, coming to her chambers, feeling the draw to her but having no idea what it meant and what he could do with a growing host of desire and no outlet. He remembered- he was so young, he had never seen anything like Tena, and he was led to her rooms with little more than an instinct that she was either going to accept him or break him. She had smiled when she opened the door that night and saw him there, had warned him in a teasing voice that there were no lessons to be had that a Jedi Master would approve of, and he had blushed, stuttering that he hoped not. When he had first kissed her that night he had wondered, aloud, how any creature could be so intoxicating and nearly died of embarrassment that she had heard him. She had whispered in his ear that they believed in Ke'La that _Forkå Kasta Skans - All Life Was Sacred_. Therefore they did not kiss or fondle or make love- they worshipped that which was sacred, and another person was sacred. Tena had grabbed his face in her hands and leaned her forehead against his, telling him gently to let go of his embarrassments or his fears and to trust her, to follow her, to allow himself to bask in the full glory of devotion because _"Lek Forkå Se."_

It meant two things at the same time in her language- it meant _You are my Force_ but, also, and to Ben more importantly, _I worship you_. To the Ke'Lani the two sentiments were indistinguishable but to Ben Solo only the second had any meaning, he thought the first felt like it lost something in the translation to common-tongue.

Years later it was still the second phrase he thought about when he whispered it in her ear and then ducked his head even lower to show her that he remembered other lessons in worshipping her.

Somewhere in the back of his head Kylo Ren knew that he had spent too much time in his quarters, that he would be missed, that someone may even foolishly come and search for him. He knew if he was caught worshipping a woman he was supposed to be interrogating and converting to the Dark Side that Snoke would have some terrible punishment for him, something that would break him of this petty attachment. However, Kylo Ren could not bring himself to care. Long ago he had been a boy confused over loving both the Dark Side and the Light, wanting to follow the path his uncle and mother beckoned him towards, pulled toward his grandfather, and more or less ignored by Han. Everything frustrated him, compounded the confusion, never helping him decide what to do. Then there was Tena, beautiful and captivating, who looked at him like he wasn't confused and told him that the answer to his query was simple- _neither side was correct_. She had represented to him a glorious neutrality where both pounding desires of the Sides were silenced and all that existed was Tena and the Force. Now, with all that had happened, with all the disturbances in the Force, with all the changes, he would be lying if he didn't say that he was tempted by that glorious neutrality again.

Of course when he eventually dragged himself out of bed with her, and got dressed, and went to report to Snoke he had to bury those thoughts somewhere unspeakably deep. He had told Snoke years ago that a girl whom he had loved, a girl who had died, had made him question Skywalker. It was his rage over his loyalty to Luke, his loyalty to the Jedi, that had allowed him to let Tena go to a dangerous planet alone that triggered his first wayward rebellion. Ren had let Snoke tell him about his grandfather and grandmother, had let Snoke remind him what love did-what the cost was of protecting those you cared most deeply for, that the price of love was always the Jedi-Jedi who swore to uphold that which was good but denied their knights the right to love.

 _You have already made that sacrifice which the Dark Side craves- you have already had your heart torn out. Now we must cauterize the wound so it cannot recover. Come with me, come with me and I will teach you how to stamp out this agony._

Even then Ren had, shyly, insisted that erasing the girl seemed wrong- without her he would never have opened up to Snoke's advances.

Snoke had been practiced at manipulation even then, _Remember that it was the chaos of the New Republic, its disorder, its lip-service to peace while courting war that killed her. She was killed because those who could have saved her did nothing, and they did nothing because there had been no treaties, no safeguards, no ...system. They lack guidance, they lack leadership- they are all a cacophony of voices accomplishing nothing. She died because of their inefficiencies._

Snoke had been right. It had been a burden on the Republic's shoulders to defend its people, and instead of following through they had let Tena and her father wallow on that poisonous swamp of a planet they had landed on. It had also been well within Luke's power to send the Jedi-but he hadn't. Half the reason he hadn't was, as he later professed, he was worried at how much Ben had been taken with the girl- how quickly, how deeply. He was worried Ben might throw all his training away for the girl, he had worried that letting her dictate the Jedi's movements was a step down a Dark path.

For a moment Ren remembered screaming at Skywalker, _"Then why bring her here to begin with?"_

Luke had sighed, "I had hopes that Tena and her people could show us how to avoid not only the Dark Side but the mistakes of our forefathers."

The conversation now felt incredibly ironic to Ren.

Snoke seemed amused, a feeling that Kylo Ren had long since come to distrust in his master. Snoke's larger-than-life projection smiled, though given his scars it looked like a sneer, and he chuckled, "How is it that you have been so late this morning?"

"Meditation, master. Forgive me." Ren bowed his head, it wasn't a complete lie as Tena would have classified at least a portion of the morning's activities as meditation. Though Ren did not give thought to whether or not the same activities would count by Sith standards.

Snoke snorted, "And how goes your...courtship of the diplomat? I believe I gave you one week-that time is half over."

"I've made strides." Still, technically, not a lie.

Snoke's amusement dipped "But no promises?"

"The Ke'Lani are notoriously stubborn, that I've made the progress I've made in this time is no small task. When great undertakings are hastily done they frequently birth mistakes."

At the quiet chastisement of his own apprentice Snoke's amusement utterly drained, "I sense your full focus is not on what you promised me- do not let a pretty face pull you away from that which ultimately calls: we need allies if we will succeed in taking down the Rebellion. If there is one thing the Ke'Lani can agree with us on it is that both the Republic and Rebellion are useless- convince them that we are not. Quickly."

With a swift flick of Snoke's wrist Ren was dismissed and left to ponder whether Snoke intentionally ignored the fact that the Ke'Lani _also_ thought the First Order useless for _precisely_ the same reasons it found the other governmental bodies useless or whether Snoke didn't see the fact as necessary for Ren's mission. Ren walked to the training rooms- if he went immediately back to his quarters after staying in them so long today he would come across as irregular and so he went and put himself through his paces. Today, remarkably, he was stellar- especially given how badly he had been beaten yesterday, especially given the still-burning wound on his side.

He didn't see Hux enter the room with Snoke after he left, and he did not see Snoke eye Hux with what could only be described as pride in the lengths Hux had undertaken.

"Is he focused?"

"Hardly, sir."

Snoke sneered, "But you say that the two are involved?"

"I have evidence of it if required, sir."

Snoke eyed him, "I will not ask how such evidence was acquired. Though I might warn you against Kylo Ren's rage should he discover he is being spied on."

Hux practically rolled his eyes but tried to keep composure, "I am not afraid of Kylo Ren."

Snoke chuckled deeply, "You should be."

Hux thought about the advice for a moment, uncomfortable by the glee Snoke seemed to take in Ren's volatility, and Snoke continued, "All you have proven is that Kylo Ren has seduced the diplomat-and that it is possible he manipulated this moment for the opportunity to do so. This is a distraction at worst, at best a way to convince a mercurial people to ally with us. I need proof that Kylo Ren is distracting himself before I move to strike his dalliance. Make your case."

Hux reflected on what he had gathered: images of the two being intimately acquainted but no audio to aid in deciphering what, precisely, the knight was doing. It was just a feeling Hux had from the start of this whole ordeal- something _else_ was going on, something not right, something that had to be stopped.

Still, he couldn't prove it….yet.

* * *

It was the night of her fifth day on the ship- Kylo Ren knew to the hour had long she had been here and knew precisely when Snoke would try to force her to leave. His mind had been tugging at the knot of that problem persistently, trying to unravel it, but he wondered if it was a childish urge: how was he going to convince them to let her stay short of declaring his need for her companionship? And even at that Snoke, the rest of the Order, wouldn't be moved. Snoke thought family ties were nothing but a weakness, it was one of the basic tenets of the Sith and the First Order had roundly accepted it. It was the basis for how they raised the Troopers, how they organized their ranks, how they recruited….Snoke was not going to let him keep Tena, he knew that in the back of his mind, but he was toying with the conundrum nonetheless, hoping for a chink in the armor. He was watching her sleep at the moment, consumed in the vision. Having her here had resurrected parts of him that had been dormant for years and this moment, looking down at her while she slept, his body happily tired and his mind racing about a thousand problems, felt cloned from their early years. How many nights had he spent like this? He had been sneaking around then too, hoping nobody found out exactly how far he had trespassed on Luke's rules, half-hoping everyone discovered it so that he didn't have to hide how he felt about her, wondering if the secret or the revelation had a longer shelf-life.

Tena had never exactly made his life less complicated but something of the confusion she brought calmed him, perversely, and made his other problems seem more manageable. Even now when he should have felt near overwhelmed with everything going on he felt steady instead: the Force would sort itself out, Balance would win, Tena believed that with every ounce of her being and she made it easy for him to believe it too.

He just wasn't sure what it meant that _Balance_ would win. Tena's _Balance_ had never had a side-it had never been Dark or Light. She used to explain it to him by saying that you needed both for true Balance- enough of each to keep the other in check. He had always struggled to follow her logic as it flew in the face of everything else he knew- of Luke's lessons passed on from Jedi Masters of Old and of Vader's legacy tinged with the greatest Sith Lords ever born. Luke and Vader had each chosen a side and believed in it resolutely- to suggest that both were wrong seemed incomprehensible to Kylo Ren, especially now.

Still, she believed it as surely as she was breathing and her resolve had always impressed him.

He ran his fingers down the line of her cheek as she slept, following the curves of her body- down her neck, over her breast, across her stomach, re-learning the line of her hip- and she fidgeted in her sleep, her eyes fluttering open. So many years ago he had struggled to find a word for the feeling she evoked in him and she had said on her planet it was the urge to utterly worship- it still rang true. Every line of her was sacred to him: he was pleased to find that she had remained much the same as he remembered her, he found almost no scars that lasted from her time marooned on that treacherous swamp-hole of a planet. In fact she was resilient through and through, a person so strong not even that experience had shaken her- he didn't know many people who would come back from such an ordeal so seemingly immune to the stress of it.

 _Stars and galaxies and everything in them-dammit it all - I have never stopped loving you. How is this supposed to work?_

She was still half-dreaming, not fully paying attention to him, so he was given a momentary solace knowing that thought was private. He had been a being led by urges and whims for so many years he had stopped thinking fully about the potential consequences of his actions: he was stronger, smarter, than almost everyone around him. His abilities with the Force were some of the most powerful in the galaxy-he was the best student of the Supreme Leader and a Master of the Knights of Ren, their First Knight. He simply took what he wanted: the consequences were for other people.

But now he was going to have to suffer the consequences of bringing her on board, getting involved with her again, knowing she would have to go.

 _If someone can make life stand still with the Force maybe I can muster a way to make time stand still instead._

He felt Tena's smile as a warmth in his own stomach, _A romantic thought, but which moment would you freeze?_

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her, _Maybe this one_.

Tena leaned into him, reached out to pull him on top of her, deepened the kiss and twined her body around his, _Not this one?_

This one is also a distinct possibility. He missed being so playful and he pushed the covers away so he was only feeling her, his hands moving inch by inch around her, as he teasingly asked her where she'd like them frozen forever, _Here? What about here?_

She giggled slightly against him as he brushed fingers over her belly but the sound deepened to a moan as they changed course _A very hard decision._

He smiled wolfishly against her lips when he heard a sharp tap of shoes on the floor and a voice, brimming with self-satisfaction, mockingly declare, "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything."

There wasn't a word for the type of rage that shot through Kylo Ren in that moment but everything from the base of the furniture to the walls of the room rattled dangerously as though he was going to pull the very metal of the ship apart. The sheer power that rippled out of the Knight should have chilled Hux to the bone but it rather made his smirk wider as he thought _Caught you._

In the blink of an eye Ren rolled off of Tena and summoned one of the dark sheets from the floor, flicking his wrist to have them cover her and then standing up in front of the bed to block as much of her from Hux's view as possible. It was foolish but his base jealousy was the first thing to respond- he wouldn't have Hux's eyes on Tena, wouldn't give Hux the satisfaction of seeing her like that, wouldn't let her flesh be feasted on by that jackal. _She's_ _ **mine**_ _._

"What are _you_ doing here?" The words were barely hissed, emphasized by the crack and hiss of the Force, by the lightsaber that was vibrating against Ren's bedside table begging to be turned on, but nothing wiped the grin off Hux's face.

"What are you doing here?" Hux retorted sharply and Ren's eyes went red, _"Get. Out."_

Hux didn't need anything else, before he had announced his presence he had swapped the little spy droid on Ren's door whose battery had worn out with a fresh version. He had had no idea, prior to entering the room, what he was going to see on the inside of it but he had felt vastly rewarded by what he saw: he knew in the core of his being that Ren was up to something, something that had nothing to do with Snoke or the First Order's plans, and it was all but proven by the way he had been sweetly, lovingly touching Tena Korza like a boy in the first thralls of love.

 _You're done, I've got you. I don't know how but I've got you now._

* * *

"You're a fool." Leia snarled, throwing the folder of scouting reports sharply on the table, scattering their contents.

"On that we disagree- taking sides is foolish." Tena countered.

"Dammit this isn't the Senate and we aren't arguing over voting and armed forces and democratic limits!" Leia slammed her hand down on the table further scattering her papers. She was ruffled, angry, hurt, and nowhere near the polished leader normally presented to outsiders. Tena tried to be understanding: Leia had lost _everything_. Her husband was dead, her children were gone, and the one shadow of that happiness left was Ben...Han's murderer. Even if she got Ben back how was she supposed to look at him?

 _Still,_ Tena smoothed the front of her tunic self-consciously, _a mother never stops loving her children._

Leia was quiet for a minute, she was spinning a ring around her finger and finally took a deep breath and calmed herself. They were alone in the room and Leia took the opportunity to let herself sink into a chair, let herself let go of the willpower that kept her looking hail and fit and suddenly seemed to age ten more years. After a moment she spoke, "You've seen the best and worst sides of him too. How fast he can turn from one to the other….you love him despite it."

"Perhaps because of it. He is the closest to understanding our way of thinking."

Leia shrugged, "Your people value life, he slaughtered a dozen children in his first willful act of defiance against Luke. I am the last one to give up on him but...I just don't know how Ben is supposed to come back."

Tena folded her hands in front of her, standing ramrod straight, and said nothing- the Ke'Lani learned long ago not to waste their breath on those that saw the world so concretely in black and white. Leia had known Tena's father for years and well remembered Tena from _that time_ ….the time just before Ben turned- she recognized Tena's stony face as a cue to change the subject or be frozen out of it.

"I repeat my earlier offer: you should stay here in the heart of the Rebellion with me. I have the best defense in the Galaxy- he won't be able to come after you here."

"I am perfectly safe on Ke'La among my own people."

Leia snorted "You would choose a planet that doesn't possess a single blaster? Against the First Order?"

"You should remember that the Ke'Lani have their own ways General- our people do no harm to others but neither do we allow ourselves to be harmed. We can defend ourselves: we have in the past and we will in the future. We are not weaklings."

"No...never pegged you as weak. You wouldn't have lasted two minutes in my family without one hell of a spine." Leia let her head fall into her left hand, with the right she reached up and let her hair come down. It was starting to go deep gray in patches by her temples but she had it as long as any woman of Alderaan would have kept it- a last declaration of allegiance to a planet few still alive even remembered.

Tena reached out a hand to the weathered General's shoulder, "I didn't come to see you because I wanted protection. I came to see you because life is sacred, and those connected to new life should be part of its story. You will have grandchildren in the coming year and it would not be right for me to shield this from you."

"I'm supposed to ignore the part where my wayward fratricidal, patricidal son basically kidnapped you to facilitate the tryst that conceived them?"

"No. The Ke'Lani ignore nothing of the sort...you might do better to ignore less and confront more."

Leia waved a dismissive hand at Tena's suggestion, "You Ke'Lani always preached as much but all it does it make other people devolve into bickering lunatics while you sit there, pleased as punch and still as statues." Leia instantly regretted the sharpness of her remarks and reached out to grab Tena's hand, almost pleading, "Wait...I'm sorry, that was unfair….."

Time had not been kind to Leia Organa, especially not recently. She drew in a ragged breath but could not keep herself calm. Silently she chastised herself: it was a similar lack of control over dark emotions that seduced both Vader and Ben, she may have been the germ for Ben's darkness all along. Without Han here to blame himself and take all her self-doubts out the door with him she was drowning- his death was her fault too, had she not sent him there with a specific plea to save Ben and bring him home? Had she not told him to trust in Ben's goodness? Had she not been the one, so many years ago, to let Ben train with his powers and laid the whole twisted path before his feet?

Tena seemed to sense the turmoil and kneeled next to the withering Leia, "Leia, you must be strong for them. They deserve to know this family."

"You keep saying _they_." Leia made herself focus on the young woman before her, "You can't possibly know…"

"I do." Tena cut her off.

"That's impossible," Leia shook her head, "You're not even showing, how could you know so soon?"

Tena quirked her shoulders up, "The Force knows all things, if you know the Force all things can be yours as well."

Leia didn't like the sound of that wisdom, it sounded like Dark Side propaganda to her, but nonetheless she reached out a hand and touched Tena's still-flat belly, "Why twins? It's always twins. Luke and I, Ben and-"

She couldn't bring herself to say her daughter's name, she never said it. How could she? Everyone has one child they feel more connected to and Ben had been hers- he had adored her as a child and she had reflected it right back to him, cherishing how much like herself and her brother he was. Her daughter had always had Han wrapped around her finger….

 _No, don't go there too._ Leia commanded herself, _You're in the dark too much these days, try to push yourself to the light._

Tena understood- she had always seen the divide between Ben and his sister, she wasn't prepared to force Leia to re-open a wound that had probably scabbed over by now.

"The Force likes Balance." Tena offered, "Perhaps there is something intrinsically pleasing to it in making two of something so special. I would think it would be the same for me as with the others-one boy, one girl."

Leia looked at the Ke'Lani woman with her glowing white skin, luminescent pale hair, and those almost frightening golden eyes; she thought about Ben, her black-haired, brown-eyed boy, and wondered what those babies were going to look like.

"If I am involved," Leia croaked, the realization of what she was about to say nearly stealing her words, "it will make him target them."

Tena smiled dryly, "As soon as he finds out about them there will be a target on them, if not by his designs then by Snoke's."

Leia nodded and paused for a moment, staring wistfully out the window as though she could see all her mistakes floating by her with the stars and space debris. Carefully she said, "I know you don't want my protection, but for my sake please take some of my people with you. I have failed so many of my own loved ones by letting them have space and do things their way...this time please let me interfere, annoy you, even. Let me be overbearing-at least then I won't regret my inaction."

Tena considered this but after a moment nodded, "If it makes you feel better, certainly."

The small victory seemed to give Leia back most of the willpower she had lost.

* * *

It was difficult to keep secrets when your Master could read minds, and it was more difficult when you had another apprentice competing for that Master's approval who was anxious to dig into your every last private store to find one shred of damning information to wield against you. Ever since Hux had walked in on him and Tena things had been even more tense than usual- Ren resented Hux's moves against him and also the basic intrusion of his personal life but potentially more was Hux's pure loathing of what he considered spoiled, self-indulgent behavior in Ren. In Hux's eyes nothing was more self-indulgent than inventing reasons to kidnap a diplomat because she was attractive you and wanted to seduce her. At least, as far as Snoke was concerned, it was a random tryst motivated by lust- an easy enough sell, Hux would have believed it too if he only had Tena's pretty face as Ren's motivation. One advantage to digging for dirt was that one often found it: it had been worth timing his intrusion for optimal effect- he had seen Ren with all his guards down (though, admittedly, he could have done with the Knight having pants on) and the way he looked at Tena, the way he treated her, the absolute marrow-deep jealous way he guarded her body from Hux's view even at the expense of his own exposure...this wasn't a meaningless coupling, it wasn't convenience or pure lust. Ren cared about Tena-Hux didn't know how or why or when but he knew it, there was a self-sacrificing quality to Ren's reactions and choices that had been otherwise trained completely out of him by Snoke. There was a danger to the edge of possession he seemed to demonstrate-Ren saw Tena as _his_ and he didn't seem to be hosting any arguments on the subject. This was fascinating to Hux and he was very much trying to get a rise out of Ren with the continued mentions of Tena or attempts to draw out more information.

Even Hux couldn't have planned the spy report quite so effectively-he wasn't sure he was ever going to get a more serendipitous set of events. Hux had been going through the reports as he normally would when the recent images from the Senate floor came in. He searched out allies first, then high ranking enemies. He still had a sour taste in his mouth that the First Order had successfully killed Han Solo and yet Leia Organa continued to elude them. She looked smug as ever in her seat at the Senate and he couldn't wait to get his second shot at her. Then as his primary focus shifted he looked for the Ke'Lani seat, shifting and shifting the hologram around until he found it. He pressed play on the brief clips and watched for a moment the events, though he had no sound to accompany them. There she was-Tena Korza, his first _Akera Santi_ in the flesh, glowing as if she was the moon itself.

 _Who could blame Ren for being attracted to her?_ Hux shook his head- he thought her naked adoration of Kylo Ren was a waste of a beautiful woman, he found it impossible to believe that the Knight was capable of acting in anyone's favor but his own. Even if Ren was somehow somewhat considerate of Tena's feelings it remained to be seen why a Ke'Lani, a sworn neutral party in the great struggle, would allow herself to become tangled up with the next Sith overlord- it seemed like a conflict of interests too deep to ignore no matter how desirable the body was that housed those interests.

And then Tena stood up in her seat from the Senate floor and her dress caught on the edge of her chair, pulling it tightly against her body and nearly ripping it. Normally such a small thing wouldn't have concerned Hux at all but this time the pull of the fabric exposed something….something very interesting.

Perhaps they would both get a second meeting with Tena Korza after Snoke saw this.

...

* * *

 **A/N:**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** despite my desire to make one giant one-shot that gets constantly updated I am now at 12+ hours trying to upload the same stupid document to FF's doc manager. This is frustrating (to say the least) so these will look like chapters but it should be noted that **_it is possible and likely some changes being made could happen to earlier chapters._**

* * *

Tena swept down the corridor towards the ships, short-tempered and ready to leave. To say that she was frustrated by the First Order's willful disregard of the Republic was to ignore that she was equally frustrated with the spineless rabble who did not see the First Order's infiltration of the Republic was merely so they had better position to sabotage it-was Hosnian Prime not proof that they wanted the government uniting the many diverse star systems _destroyed_? At least Coruscant still stood, tenuous though its hold on the New Republic was given how willingly it handed the Empire the galaxy not so very long ago. But the Ke'Lani were long frustrated with the short-sighted aims and whims of most species of politicians- it was why the Ke'Lani had been neutral to all sides for so long.

As she turned the corner with her entourage she stopped short, confronted with an unpleasant reality. Though her face betrayed nothing she was on fire seeing Kylo Ren before her, his tail of Storm Troopers behind him like lost little mukklings following a mother Muk. He was standing still, calmly, as if he had been waiting for her- it was only then that she realized the obvious designs he had in being on the planet in the first place.

Tena waved her hand at her attendants, some of whom were visibly stiff at the towering Ren, and said, "Go to the ship, wait for me there."

"My lady….are you sure?" The voice was feeble, mild, but she knew these people would die for her though some were guards merely assigned to her by the Rebellion and had not known her long. Kylo Ren eyed this one, a Sullastan woman assigned to her by General Organa personally, and cocked his masked head. The tiny alien was gripping a blunted club, the only personal protection allowed on the New Senate floor, and its weak current would hardly penetrate Ren's armor. He thought briefly about sending the little pest flying across the room as a reminder to the General where power really lived...but he thought it might not set his conversation with Tena off in the right tone.

As if Tena knew his thoughts she placed her hand delicately on her rounded stomach, hardly visible in her billowing white robes, and quirked an eyebrow at Ren, "I'm certain. I think the Knight has come to discuss something with me, he is not here to battle."

Her people took a step back but eyed the Storm Troopers with obvious concern: powers of the Ke'Lani aside she would have difficulty overwhelming eight Storm Troopers _and_ Kylo Ren in her current condition. At their hesitation Kylo Ren barked, "Dismissed."

The Storm Troopers turned and left without a second thought and as they turned their backs Tena's guards also left.

"Alone at last." His voice filtered through the mask and a look that lacked all humor colored her face, "Are they mine?"

She took in a heavy breath. While she faced him her eyes were purposefully unfocused, "I have told you before that I will not host discussions with that mask- it is an instrument of terror, one I will not tolerate."

Without pause he reached up and pulled the faceplate off, holding it loosely in his left hand; underneath the metal his scarred face was a storm, his eyes were charged and flaring as if he could not process the whole measure of that question, as though the full impact of it was something he had not allowed himself to face until this moment. Again he threw the question at her as if it were a weapon, as if it could hurt her, "Are they mine?"

"You can sense them clearly enough to know there are two. I should think my answer means little."

"And yet I want to hear you say it." His eyes were on fire, around her she heard the electric click and hiss of the Force as it bubbled up around him so chaotically, so hot, so primal that she had the unbidden image of a volcano in her mind, lava slowly rising up and hitting the moist air, rejecting the clash of temperatures. She thought that if he heard her say the answer he might well explode, and she wasn't sure - for the briefest of moments- if sending away their guards had been wise.

She refused to give him what he wanted outright- he made her hunt and peck for what she wanted and she thought it was fair turnaround to do the same.

"They are Ben Solo's children." She said lightly, drawing her second hand underneath the swell, emphasizing it, pausing ever so slightly before biting back at him, "And it yet remains to be seen if you will have any part in their existence at all."

The change was mesmerizing-though he did not respond to his birth name the answer was clear, she had confirmed his suspicions, and in a moment the world shifted and changed. There was a clear, white-hot strike of lightning in his mind, the Force around him warmed and rippled, and the corner of his mouth quirked up in the distant memory of a smile. And there, in the corner of his senses, the two little pulses that had emerged so recently, that batted at him like playful kittens, seemed to swell and twirl in delight as he reached out with every intention of petting them.

Then her second statement knocked the little balls of light far away from him and he wanted to scream. The swell, the ripple, the warmth, all evaporated in an instant and he was chilled down to his heart- there was a rejection, instantly, of her threat.

"You would not be so callous?" He hissed, his eyes mere slits, and she saw that the wounding hadn't struck Kylo Ren—it had hit Ben.

Tena reached out a hand and cupped his scarred cheek, her face softened as she felt him lean against it, and she sighed, "I can be….but I do not want to be."

He let go of a breath he wasn't aware he was holding and turned his head slightly to kiss her palm—the gesture, so light, so loving, made her smile.

For a moment she saw Ben again, "You endured a Senate meeting just to ask me that?"

He reached his right hand up and twined it around hers, "Coming here was no easy task but I did not see another way. Asking you this is not my only mission on Coruscant but let us not talk of such things now."

Just as he was bringing her hand up to kiss it again his head snapped to the side and he glared down the corridor. Standing there with a self-congratulatory grin on his face was Hux. Tena moved her one hand down and let her clothes billow again, unsure if Ben would have been moved to share his suspicions about her with the First Order. Hux noticed, of course, because he was observant but also because he was just as hungry to look at her this time as he had been the last time he'd seen her. She was a stunning creature, pale as bone everywhere but those golden eyes. He had supposed when Ren kept firmly putting his foot forward about being on Coruscant that it had something to do with her and her oh-so-easy-escape last time, about the slight changes in her evidenced in the images of her arguing from the New Senate floor, and about the distracted look he had been wearing ever since Hux had shown him the image and dead-panned a biting remark on the glorious timing of it all. Ren still remembered the fury he had felt when Hux smirked at him _Curious that we never received any information on the Councillor's wedding or pledge to anyone- who do you think is the proud father? I wonder if we didn't just miss him when we last saw her- he had to have slipped on board her ships somewhere in that time._

In the moment Ren realized Hux was there he slammed his mask back on his face and pulled the hand holding onto Tena behind him, turning to obscure her with a flair of his cape. Ren moved fast, but not fast enough that Hux was fooled.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

The phrase instantly brought back images of Hux's last interruption and Ren all but barked back, "What is your purpose here General?"

"Your troops came back saying they were dismissed, I was merely following up as per Snoke's orders regarding this mission." Hux's smirk widened and he turned his attention to Tena, "My lady, it is an almost unexpected pleasure to see you once more. Normally when someone walks out of our ship we never run into them again."

Tena inclined her head in a curt nod, "General. I hardly think it unexpected that the First Order runs into several high ranking diplomats on Coruscant during the Reconstruction."

"I will attend to my duties promptly." Ren barked and though the mask was over his face Hux could tell he was glaring, fuming, over the interruption. Hux inclined his head at Ren, a mock bow, and turned on his heel to leave lovers to their talks. He had only wanted to get close enough to confirm his growing suspicion: Kylo Ren had fathered a child, and with a Ke'Lani diplomat no less. He didn't know what this was going to do to Ren but Hux knew this: the Supreme Leader cared _nothing_ for your family ties and rather found them to be a profound nuisance. However, the Supreme Leader had never seemed upset when Hux mentioned his theory that Councillor Korza was pregnant- indeed the look in his eye was hungry, predatorial.

 _Oh, this is going to be very interesting indeed. Hux smirked to himself, What does a Sith Lord want with a Force Sensitive infant?_

Hux tried not to concern himself with the details on how an infant would be raised by the First Order- there were incubators and dorms for the children they trained as Storm Troopers, it could undoubtedly be adapted. For the briefest moment Hux thought about the look on Ren's face as he saw his child being raised to salute Hux- of Ren's angry little offspring calmly trained to fire their Force strength back at _him_.

 _Oh...this could be supremely interesting._

As Hux retreated Ren forced himself to swallow his seething rage at the man and turned back toward Tena, this time he took his mask off without her needing to prompt him. She didn't think he realized how easily he abandoned it when he was otherwise occupied and she knew, in the deepest part of herself, that Ben wasn't dead yet. Inside her the two little embers of energy bounced and bounded around at that idea like spritely puppies. They were small but the Force was made of energy, instinct, and the little lives instinctively knew _mother_ and instinctively reached out for _father._ A pull she found interesting to say the least- she could sense them, even this young, probing precisely at Ben looking for attention, it is probably what had attracted his notice. Now, staring at her, trying to separate her from his anger at Hux, Ben let his eyes drop to her stomach.

"I don't have much time to stand and discuss this," She could hear the regret, and she carefully watched as he reached out a hand to touch her stomach and it froze halfway there, as if he were afraid. Tena reached out and removed the thick leather glove from him saying, tenderly, "It will be easier to feel them this way."

She placed his hand on the bottom of her swollen stomach, right where the babies' heartbeat was the most pronounced. Their kicks were light flutters to the outside observer, especially one who could not appreciate how active they were with the Force already, but Ben was keenly focused on every part of their movement. She felt his hand shake as he pushed it against his children's lifeline, he trembled, overwhelmed. She heard his heart double its pace and when she looked at his face it was awestruck, though his smile was notably strained. With her hand over his the warmth, the pressure, must have attracted the twins' attention because they kicked the spot where their parents were touching them with renewed vigor. Tena knew he felt it because of the breath he drew in and Ben abruptly pulled his hand away, turned, and let himself lean against the wall.

 _Praise the Force that nobody is walking by...there is no hiding this feeling._

Kylo Ren felt punched, he felt like he was drowning- _this was real_. When the first dreams had begun with the bouncing little balls of light making him chase them down corridor after corridor he had known it meant something- he had not connected it to Tena until Hux had thrown those first images of her protruding stomach at him like a knife. Even then it was all theoretical- Tena might have been pregnant, he might have been the father, or it all might have been some cruel coincidence that had nothing to do with him at all.

Now he was here, she had told him, and he had _touched_ them. The little balls of light were pushing at his consciousness again-they wanted him to _see_ them.

 _I do…_ he replied as if they could hear him _I do see you. I understand-it's you, you're mine and I'm yours._

The little spheres seemed to glow in acknowledgement.

Tena looked at him, worried, and reached out a hand to smooth a frantic curl away from his face, "Ben?"

He pretended she said _Ren._

"Are you safe?" He asked, "Are you well?"

"Yes." Her eyes were quizzical- he _knew_ his forces were the antagonists, he knew she was, theoretically, in the most danger from him.

He nodded, "You need to retire from the Senate until they are born, stay out of sight."

"I can't do that, you know I am here to serve. You know it was only by the Force's design I wasn't on Hosnian any more than it was the Force's will your mother wasn't- politicians serve."

"You are Ke'Lani before anything... _Forkå Kasta Skans._ " He turned and let his mask drop to the floor, putting one arm behind her neck to draw her close and let the other fall onto her stomach, guiltily giving in to the selfish need to keep touching the swell of his children. He was inches from her and she could hear the concern in his voice, "You have to keep them safe."

Tena put one hand on his chest and the other stroked his cheek, "So do you."

He gritted his teeth, "I will do what I can but this will change the game- letting me see you here today was a test, a taunt, _for me._ They aren't concerned with you- they want to see me leave you, they want to see me...repulse you. They don't realize...if they know you are pregnant they will _command_ me to capture you, _command_ me to …"

He couldn't finish it at once as the awfulness of Snoke's degradation of Vader came into light- _he lacked the necessary dedication to kill his son and so the son served only as a distraction, as an undoing, for an otherwise strong and focused father._ It had been the centerpoint of many lessons, the reason Solo had been a necessary sacrifice, and now that Kylo Ren saw what the ultimate sacrifice looked like he understood his grandfather more.

He had already sworn to Tena to protect his children and they weren't even born...how was he going to kill them when Snoke asked him to?

He had barely choked his way through killing Solo.

Ren looked at Tena- for a moment she multiplied and he could see her as she would be with one of their babies in her arms, strong and capable. She would never let him hurt them- he would have to kill her too.

 _Vader killed his wife…_

Ren smothered the thought, he'd let it torture him later.

He focused himself, "I let you go the first time, do you remember? You walked out of the ship- _nobody_ does that. Now you're here and you're going to slip by us again. That's twice. There won't be a third time, Tena. The next time we cross paths Snoke will want something from it- and it won't be something you'll want to give. He'll pit us against one another."

Tena smoothed his brow with her hand and he felt it, that tug, not towards the Light and not towards the Dark, just towards her. That tug begged him to just walk away with her- to leave and not come back. But such things could not be taken seriously- such things were dreams. As if she sensed his turmoil and delighted in pushing him deeper into it she leaned forward and kissed him.

 _Damn it all._ He snaked the hand that had been on her belly around her waist and drew her tightly against him, _This may be all I get- let me have this._

He wondered if her lips would ever be less soft or less sweet, if he would ever feel them and not forget to breathe, or if he would be a fool for her for the rest of his life.

 _Is that why Vader…_

 _Not now._ He told himself. _Just her._

From the Force around him he felt two small prods against him and he smiled, however briefly, _Just us, then._

He pulled away from the kiss slowly, traced her bottom lip with his ungloved thumb, tried to absorb the parts of her he was so drawn to into his very being but knew it was an impossible task.

She smiled sadly, "He can't pit us against one another, Ben. Only we can do that- it's a choice, not a command."

He shook his head sadly, "You never did understand the Sides."

She returned the headshake with a cocked eyebrow, "You never did understand the Force."

She pushed the hand on her waist back onto her stomach, removing this glove as she did the last so he could really feel the heat of her skin through her dress, really feel the heartbeat of their twins, and really feel the weight of what she was going to say, "I know you are lost, Ben. I know you have always felt lost and I thought, once, that I could help you. The Force had different ideas- you are so different now than when we last knew one another but this remains the same: nobody need _command and compel_ you to use the Force their way, not even me. You are too concerned with these sides, with what they mean, with what will happen. Be concerned with that which you can control, my love."

"What can I control?" The question sounded sardonic but she heard the vein of pleading behind it- Kylo Ren had followed Snoke to feel less like Skywalker's errand boy and wound up now being Snoke's puppet. It seemed, frequently, that he had no say in anything.

"Your own actions." She kissed him quickly as they heard marching feet approaching, "Ben?"

He picked up the mask, not turning to his old name but cocking an ear in her direction.

"They will be born when Ke'La's second moon is in full view, late in our Spring. As all Ke'Lani they will be born on Ke'La, dedicated there. Understand this as your first essential choice in many months- if you are not there when they are born, if _their father_ is not there when they come into this world, _they will never know you_."

Her golden eyes flashed dangerously and Kylo Ren saw the truth in the threat: Tena was always clear when she drew a line and this particular one had just been clearly delineated. Not knowing how to respond, feeling that it was an impossible line, Kylo Ren put his mask on and slipped back on his gloves- he looked the very part of a Sith Lord when his Storm Troopers came back around the corner with two of Hux's soldiers, pushing for their mission to be completed. By the time the Troopers arrived Tena was gone- on her transport and headed off planet.

She missed the First Order's assassination of six planets' representatives by minutes.

* * *

Kylo Ren would be lying if he had said he hadn't timed the assassinations so that Tena was out of the line of fire- the justification would, of course, be that the Ke'Lani could not see life threatened without intervening and she was not a chosen target. The reality was that Tena knew he did terrible things but had never seen them, and he was certainly not going to have her in the same chamber as blaster fire with his recently acquired knowledge still pounding his temples.

Assassinations were quick work, the Republic would continue to collapse, and the Rebellion would draw itself further out of its shell until it was so exposed they would crush it. Ren's mind was only half on the task at hand and half contemplating Tena and their twins, part of him abstracting wondering what twins of theirs would look like. It made him think for the first time in a very long time of his own sister- he had called her little sister for so many years as a child because she had been born a whole hour after him but….

The door behind him slammed shut- odd, as most doors had built in silencers. Ren looked over though his mask hid his surprise-there was Hux, grinning ear to ear, holding something in the palm of his hand.

They were alone, Ren hadn't even realized that he had walked onto the ship's observatory or that they had leapt into hyperspace already. Seeing the look on Hux's face made him instantly angry.

"I suppose congratulations are in order." Hux grinned, but his tone was dark and taunting.

Ren merely cocked his head, unwilling to accidentally reveal anything that Hux might not know.

"Oh Ren, so powerful, so mighty," Hux's tone indicated that he felt none of these accolades were justified, "so very special. I'd like you to savor this moment knowing that someone like me, someone you despise as pedestrian, exposed you."

Ren remained silent as Hux lifted up his palm to reveal a very ordinary recorder, one Ren recognized from their training grounds, and pushed the play button.

 _Tena Korza was stitching his side, his mask was off, and she was curled around his side. She touched his face, stood up and put distance between them, but it didn't matter because in a moment they were a tangle of arms and legs. He gripped her against himself, and while he hadn't immediately remembered tearing her tunic to get it off he saw it now in the replay. He buried his face in her neck, trying to taste every inch of her that he had forgotten._

Behind the mask Ren's eyes glowered, his posture stiffened and Hux, grinning, pressed the skip button.

 _Now they were sprawled before his great window and he was kissing her ear, her collarbone, her breast, her belly…_

He felt his hand on his saber. Hux's too-pleased expression riled him but the red-headed man calmly pressed skip.

 _He threw his mask off, agitated that she always insisted on it being off but at least it made it easier to kiss her. He had felt so powerful because he had her back, he was ignoring the dwindling time limit, and he picked her up. She laughed, wrapping her legs around him and he smiled back at her, let her kiss him as he walked her back to the bed, collapsing on top of her as she peeled back the layers of black tunics…_

The saber was on. Hux held up a finger and wagged it Kylo Ren-childish but it made him feel incredibly superior as he chastised, "Wait, you'll miss my favorite one."

 _They were walking towards the door because they were being summoned but his mask was at the other end of the room, his gloves weren't on. She eyed him sadly, sighed, and ran a hand down the black fabric. Her hand paused over his heart and he reached his up and twined their fingers together. He pushed her hair back, ran a finger down her cheek._

Ren was shaking with rage but kept watching.

 _He leaned in and kissed her-it was sweet, it was loving, and it must have tormented her because a tear rolled down her cheek. He brushed it away without a thought but she pulled back anyway. She said something, but the recorder didn't hear words, but he looked at her sadly and shook his head. She reached up a hand to touch his cheek and said something but he turned, Force summoned his helmet, and walked out of the door before her._

"I'm just dying to know what she said." Hux teased and Ren lashed the saber at him, growling, "How did you get that?"

"How did you not see it? Clearly you walked right by it." Hux dodged another lash of the saber and held up his hands, "I would stop this childish display if I were you, it only makes you seem guiltier."

"Guilty of what?" Ren hissed, "Having you spy on me?"

"Clearly you lied about exactly why you wanted the Councilor and what you were doing with her, and if that weren't enough you manipulated us all here today. I do hope you don't mind that I shared your happy news already-Supreme Leader Snoke was most enthralled by it. Congratulations once again on your forthcoming fatherhood."

The door opened and Snoke himself came in on a floating wheelchair that did nothing to decrease his imposing nature. Kylo Ren's head snapped from the Supreme Leader back to Hux and he pushed his way into Hux's mind, deliberately and darkly promising _I will kill you for this intrusion._

 ** _A/N:_** Sorry about the change in format, I am incredibly frustrated by the chapter-format. This is all supposed to be an incredibly long one-shot. However, I will keep uploading the original story and then fleshing it out, seeing how it goes. **Note: future updates may not come in chronological order.** This means you will have to skim the story. Blame FF for this- doing it in one-shot format would have been much easier.


	3. Chapter 3 Updated as of feb1

**A/N: Updated!** _As promised I will update the sections of this story as I develop them- I knew this section wasn't done when I loaded it and it isn't done yet. I would estimate it will rival "chapter 1" in length when I'm finally done with my extensive flashback scenes. Throw me on author alert for the best odds at the best version of this story._

 ** _Newest Update:_** _2/1/16: I have added a little moment between Tena and her father at the close of this chapter. There's another extension to this chapter coming soon but I'm still tinkering with it a bit. Clearly we are in flashback mode._

* * *

It seemed like days before Kylo Ren was allowed back to his room to sleep, his body almost completely undone by the tortures Snoke had put him through as a re-focusing exercise following Hux's revelation. He dropped his mask to the floor and fell onto his bed, his eyes closing almost instantly, and he inhaled deeply- _They forgot to change the sheets_.

He could still catch her scent on them, and it lulled him to sleep. He expected given his physical pain that he would sleep dreamlessly but his mind was restless and she was the reason. Snoke had been enraged that Ren had tricked him, hidden the girl's identity, and lied. _Enraged barely covered it_. Snoke seemed focused on bringing Ren to the next level of his training….

A level whose initiation made Ren think about Tena all the more.

* * *

When he had first met her he might have guessed that she would hold his fate in the palm of her hand one day, leading him towards a destiny he never saw clearly. He remembered it all like it was yesterday.

He had been standing beside Luke wearing his tan robes. Behind them the other apprentices, including Ben's sister, were all in a neat line, also dressed in their clean, neatly pressed robes. They had been released from meditation that morning to accompany Luke who was looking forward to showing off his growing group to the dignitaries arriving. Ben recognized the name Tel'tor Korza from his mother's frequent Senate rants- the Ke'Lani Councilor was a neutral party in the New Senate and their refusal to aid in many of his mother's reconstruction causes made her mad. Ben was anxious to see them-it was said that the Ke'Lani had helped the very first Jedi built their Temple and learn the Force. The Ke'Lani had broken with the first Temple five thousand years prior but in the subsequent years had become great scholars on the Force and all who used it. It was said that the libraries on Ke'La had been some of the only ones in the galaxy that the Empire didn't absorb or destroy, though Ben didn't know why, and that the libraries held some of the finest information on the pre-Empire era. Part of Ben was positively humming with anticipation because he had questions he wanted to ask one of their scholars that Luke hadn't been able to answer.

When the ship landed it was pure white- Luke had said that the Ke'Lani could be expected to wear more or less all white. It was something of a cultural nod to what they considered their Pure lifestyle with the Force. As the diplomats disembarked Ben got his first real surprise- Tel'tor Korza, the tall, stony white statue with blaring violet eyes his mother complained about, had not come alone, he had a girl with him. The girl appeared to be an adolescent, at a guess, but her eyes swept over the scene with trained, almost tired, precision. Her face was a mask, just like her father's, but unlike his her eyes gleamed in gold. Ben was struck- the Ke'Lani were white-skinned, white-haired and light-eyed humanoids that he had never thought of as attractive. However this one, this girl, took his breath away. There was something in her poise, something in the line of her face, that made her hard to look away from- Ben had to compel himself to stop staring and pay attention to the proceedings.

Luke made his welcomes and Tel'tor Korza inclined his head deeply, touching his chest. The girl mimicked the gesture, straightening her back and waiting for direction as well. Tel'tor indicated her and said, with no small hint of pride, that his daughter, Tena, had accompanied him on this important journey to the New Jedi Temple and that he hoped Luke wouldn't mind.

Luke shook his head, "All are welcome here."

"Most excellent that you see it that way-I am looking quite forward to how Tena perceives this Temple from the student perspective. She has trained with me since she was old enough to walk and has been on the Senate floor with me since she was clutching my knee to see the events. She is quite astute and a keen observer: I would have nobody else help me on this important task and I think you will find her expertly suited to the role."

Tena nodded at her father gratefully, expertly suppressing a smile.

Ben felt warm and nodded his way through introductions, staring at the girl and half-hoping she didn't notice his focus.

Her father spent most of his time talking with Luke in those first few days and he had dismissed Tena to see to the students of the Temple. Luke had introduced her to Ben as his nephew and first apprentice hoping that Ben would show her the best of their new school- aware of the fact that Ben was captivated with the girl and hopeful that it would motivate him to show off their best attributes. Luke was hungry for the Ke'Lani to approve of his school, hungry for their aid in fleshing out his knowledge of the Jedi, and he wanted to impress them. He had no idea the events he set in place when he brought Tena to Ben and instructed that Ben "not leave her side and see you learn some of their ways, we want to be open-minded to their criticism."

Luke had no way of knowing which ways Ben would choose to learn.

* * *

Ben's memories of those days was so narrow- the rest of his world closed in and the sharpest memories were of Tena. He remembered showing her their temple, introducing her to the other apprentices, to his sister. He remembered her bowing to his sister and instead of looking at Tena she had only watched him. He remembered, with absolute clarity, his sister's voice in his head asking _What's gotten into you?_

He didn't have an answer for her, he didn't know, so he shrugged and kept the tour with Tena going. Later he would discuss those first few days with Tena- he remembered her being a mask of Ke'Lani indifference to it all, unapproachable, but she told him rather the opposite. She said she remembered feeling like he could look right past her mask and see everything inside.

 _As if I could ever have guessed you would feel half of what you felt for me_.

He had spent hours those first few days in the training circle trying to sweat off the excess energy she gave him. One day he was doing particularly well-the lesson was on confronting multiple attackers. His saber was blue and it cut through the air like he had been born to it. His sister was one of the attackers, he could sense her trepidation. She had started later than him, unsure if she wanted to be a Jedi or not, and once at the temple unsure if she wanted to be a fighter.

"What else are you going to do?" He remembered asking her.

She had shrugged, "Everyone always needs farmers. I think I'd be a good farmer...or a pilot. I would make a great pilot."

Ben had rolled his eyes at her, "Ever Daddy's little sycophant."

She had furrowed her brow at him, "That's not fair."

 _Notice you didn't say 'Not true'...just 'not fair'._

 _Grow up Ben._

As much as he was loathe to admit it his sister was naturally a talented fighter- she was giving him a run for his money along with two other students, both fifteen, who were quick as lightning. Still the crowd didn't seem a match for Ben- he touched his sister's face with his blade, it didn't leave more than a cursory red mark on it's training setting, and promptly jumped, flipped and hit both boys squarely in the back.

From a corner of the room he heard a clap and looked over to see Luke, his two Ke'Lani ambassadors tailing him. Suddenly Ben stuck his chest out a little further, held his chin a little higher, as Luke praised his skill.

Tel'tor Korza's face was stone but he eventually moved a hand in a dismissive way and looked over at Tena. Tena stood like a student, and her head was cocked toward her father as if waiting for his command, but her eyes were on Ben and the circle.

" _Tena, veda gedai tala vas prous?"_

She blushed a little, if the barest trace of pink on the hollows of her cheeks was blushing, and shook her head, " _Vaux gedai nekka Fork_ å _."_

Luke was watching placidly and Tena cleared her throat, translating, "This is how you train all of them?"

Luke held up a hand to emphasize this group, "As they advance the lessons become more complex. Ben is our best fighter, he can't keep practicing on training droids forever."

Tena looked to her father who nodded at her, she turned back to face Luke, "Those were killing strokes. In a real battle all three of them would be dead."

Luke's eyes narrowed ever so slightly and Ben spoke up, "Why is that a problem? They're enemies, they outnumber me...do you expect me to let them kill me?"

"Of course not but... _Fork_ å _Kasta Skans."_

"What does that mean?" Ben's sister asked, looking between Ben, Luke and the Ke'Lani ambassadors.

"All Life is Sacred." Tena bowed her head slightly when she said it, "And because it is we must learn how to avoid killing at all costs, see it as an impossible choice."

Ben barked a dark laugh, "I don't know how long you expect to last in a real fight then."

Tel'tor's eyebrows quirked up and he allowed himself a smile, reaching a hand to pat Tena's shoulder. At her father's touch Ben saw her posture straighten, saw her chin raise- there was pride palpable between the two, like each thought the other was the most important person in the world. In the pit of his stomach Ben felt a sharp pang of jealousy.

"Master Jedi, would you permit me to impart a lesson?" Tel'tor asked and Luke nodded, opening his arms, "We welcome any wisdom you impart."

"Young Jedi, please turn your blade to its maximum heat."

Ben looked to Luke who nodded, he pressed a button on the hilt of the saber. Tel'tor's hand moved from Tena's shoulder to her back and he gently pushed her forward, "Tena, show the young apprentice what will happen in a real fight."

Ben looked back at Luke, "Master?"

Even Luke looked dubious, "Councillor Korza is this safe?"

Tena looked agitated at their concern and she took a small staff from her belt and elongated it. It was simple metal by the look of it, smooth, collapsible, nothing impressive. Her father grinned, something that looked almost menacing in a face so used to being stoic, "We believe real fights should be really prepared for- we don't use training weapons on Ke'La. And we don't kill. And, perhaps most importantly, we rarely lose."

Tena walked forward into the circle with Ben, her plain staff in front of her, and Ben got a good chance to finally look at her without having to hide his gaze: she was tall, delicate-looking, and the fact that she wore all white made her look weaker, like snow that might melt if he held it in his hand. Her face was angular but her eyes were big- big, and right now focused only on him. A few days ago he was hoping for so much of her attention, he felt someone deflated that he got it now and was soon to beat her and, potentially, hurt her pride.

Tena stood, staff in front, waiting.

Tel'tor's smile softened.

After a few minutes Ben, who was pacing with nerves, asked, "Do you fight or do you stand there?"

"I am waiting on you." She quipped and quirked an eyebrow at him, "Any time will do."

He felt a wave of annoyance, was rankled by her calmness, her patience. Patience had never exactly been Ben's strong suit-something Luke was constantly reminding him of, encouraging him to fix. But perhaps another day-he swung the arc of his blade high and the bout began in earnest. Every time he swung she parried, every attempt at a strike was met and deflected, it was flawless, smooth. Ben kept increasing his strength, losing his concern that she was going to get burned much less severely hurt. He started really trying in a way that he wasn't normally pushed to fight- faster, more aggressively, using the Force to help him jump, twist, and predict her movements. Her movements were predictable: she met his thrusts every time, blocking, them as if they were choreographed and this was some elaborate dance they both partook in.

Tel'tor watched with plain pride, but Luke's focus grew more intense and he was progressively more impressed. He had never seen Ben have to dip into his reserve stores, never seen Ben have to truly become more creative in his attacks in the training ring...Ben had met his match. When Luke took the boy on missions, and there were precious few he took him on what with their time being consumed with their influx of young students, he saw this same creativity-Ben was a gifted fighter but preferred the challenge of organic problem solving to the tedium of the training ring. As Luke watched he couldn't help but be critical- Tena was light as air, her feet seemed like they barely touched the floor, and Ben was falling into an old habit of relying on his height and reach to bully the saber at his opponent. Most of the time Ben was bigger and stronger than those he fought and when he wasn't feeling challenged by the fight he tried to end it faster by throwing his strength behind his foe, pummeling them. He might have had the height on Tena but she wasn't as small as most of the students Ben trained with- she had a wingspan that matched his- but Luke had a hard time imagining that she had the brute strength of his nephew. Still, she didn't seem to miss it. She was barely breaking a sweat as she swatted Ben's blows away from her body with her staff- Luke suddenly realized that her staff was odd. If it was really pure metal the saber should have obliterated it but instead the saber's beam hissed when they met, as if it had the same crystal component as the saber. Luke watched it carefully-there was a slim button on the side of the shaft and when Tena pressed it the staff was surrounded by a tight force field around it. Luke noted that she didn't keep the field up constantly- when her staff occasionally whapped or knocked into Ben, aiming for joints, trying to knock him off balance, she always had the field down. She was incredibly patient- she saw that Ben wasn't and she was slowly tearing down his last shred of self-control, forcing him to make mistakes. Luke was duly persuaded that the Ke'Lani were far more able and current about fighting than he would have suspected devoted pacifists to be.

Ben's steps were heavier, his swings clunkier, and Luke thought Tena would make her move any minute.

Ben twirled-it was unnecessary and it took one of his hands off his hilt as he swung high at her head and Tena dodged it, ducking under the blow, snapping her staff upward at his hand, slamming it so that his saber flew across the room and she snapped the staff against his legs. When he crumpled to the floor she put one knee on his torso and held the staff against his throat.

Ben was utterly unprepared and felt himself furiously blushing, half at his failure to woo Tena with his fighting skills and half at the fact that he was more focused on her leg being on him than his defeat.

Her eyes were on his face and she cocked her head as though she could see his thoughts but they were both snapped out of the moment but Tel'tor's applause, joined by Luke's after a long moment.

"A splendid display." Luke folded his arms in the sleeves of his cloak and watched as Tena collapsed her staff and reached down to help Ben up. Ben got to his feet and held out his hand, absently summoning his saber to him, a gesture which he hardly thought about but which Tena seemed to regard with a slight disdain. Ben noticed her reaction, confused by it, and decided he would ask her about it later.

Tel'tor opened his arms, gesturing to the scene before them, "It is possible to train students not to kill, not to even have an option to do so, and have them stand strong. The Ke'Lani bend...but that which bends does not break."

Tena nodded at her father but her eyes hadn't left Ben's face. She realized neither of them had spoken and she felt the corner of her mouth twist up in the hint of a smile, "You are quite good."

"You're better." Ben's face was as absent as hers but his eyes were running over her, trying to see where that strength, that speed, came from, "I would welcome any assistance you could offer me."

Luke's ear twitched- Ben had a great capacity for words when he wanted to have them but Luke had only heard Ben weave beautiful sentences when he wanted something or when he was struggling deeply with something.

 _Interesting_. Luke mused, _I wonder which it is._

* * *

"Let me come to the debate, Uncle." Ben persisted, Luke had been hedging on the decision all morning.

"Ben, you're still a student, I'm not sure you will find it very amusing to debate pedagogy of the Force."

Frustration filled him, "Tena is being permitted to attend, she follows her father and argues for him."

Luke cocked an eyebrow, "Is that why you want to go?"

"If she can be trusted to be engaged in this discussion by her father you should, by extension, trust me."

Luke eyed the boy warily. Part of him was still uncertain precisely what Ben's motives with the girl were anymore. He had asked his apprentice to follow her, to learn from her, but the command had only strengthened Ben's already healthy opinion of his own worth- he was quicker to offer opinions, quicker to ignite arguments, and relying more and more heavily on his charismatic tongue to keep him from serious censure.

 _But I have no desire to foster a whole school of mindless drones who never think for themselves and follow me blindly...if I wanted clones, I would train Storm Troopers._

Luke truly considered his urge to reject Ben's plea...I _s this Vader in me? Is my urge to silence him nothing more than the temptation of being a tyrant? I invited the Ke'Lani here to test me, to test my school, to offer advice on how to avoid the mistakes of the Jedi in the past...it is time to accept that such advice might mean I am uncomfortable, that I will not agree, that my agreement and comfort are not the paramount concerns of this venture. That I must be open to change._

They were easy enough thoughts to have but they were hard to identify when you were in the thick of them.

Luke looked at Ben, squarely: the boy was more a man now than anything else-tall, strong, agile. He had jet black hair which made him look like a broody little changeling when he was around his family; his eyes were Han's- big and brown and mercurial. Usually there was a light, a devil-may-care snarky glint to them, but now Luke saw the stubborn resolve of Ben's mother in those eyes. When he had been small and was learning about his family his obsession with Vader had instantly made both Han and Leia uncomfortable- it was something Luke never concerned himself with. If they thought Ben was obsessed with Vader he shuttered to think how they would classify his own thoughts on his father- he thought about Anakin daily. In fact Luke would argue there was much of himself in Ben, and perhaps it was true that he got the more volatile sides of his parents' personalities - their quick wit and contagious charm, deep abiding loyalties, flaring emotions, and easy arrogance- while his sister had all of their calm qualities- their serene independence, their focused determination, their ability to suffer silently and their admirable diligence at their chosen professions.

If that was too much Vader, Luke well suspected that he and Leia had too much of it as well.

Luke nodded, "Alright then."

Ben's face beamed with his father's smirk.

The debates were in Luke's private offices- the room was large enough to accommodate the dozen guests in attendance. Leia had requested a seat but Luke had gently reminded her that the Senate and the Jedi were not in alliance and her presence would be inappropriate. She had rolled her eyes at him and reminded him that "Everything is politics, Luke...be careful who you listen to."

Besides Tel'tor Korza and his daughter there was Luke; Ben; Lor San Tekka, Luke's Archives keeper, who had a quiet young man with him Ben didn't know; Berren Mul, the Twi'lek ambassador who wanted to see if his Force Sensitive people would train with the New Jedi as they still mourned the slaughter their people suffered in the Old Republic; Berren's associate Fera Burtal, a lovely lime green Twi'lek who eyed the Ke'Lani with deep suspicion; two Sullastan ambassadors who Ben might have known but he found it difficult to tell Sullastans apart; a Nightsister from Dathomir who had never been here before; a Hapan prince named Isolder with a fierce reputation that Ben didn't realize had any interest in the New Jedi until that day.

It was an impressive council, but Ben didn't know if all heads would remain civil- by his count there were many here who had lost deeply to the Old Republic's Jedi and he wasn't sure they would like Luke's fairly traditional direction. From what Ben had gathered some talking to Tena he doubted she and her father were fully on board.

Luke stood and bowed to the table, "Welcome all, thank you for coming. As you know I have invited you here to see my new training facility. We are a young Order and I am sensitive, given my family and the history of the Jedi, that we not repeat the mistakes of our forefathers. I wish to know what, if any, advice you would have for our Order and if you would be interested in your own Force sensitive children being schooled here."

Luke bowed again and took his seat- the table was large and round, everyone equally distant from one another, and everyone eyed their neighbors to see who would speak first. Ben's mother had told him that silence was as valuable as speech in debates- he kept his mouth shut and listened to the drawn out silence, waiting to see who would take the bait and answer first.

Tel'tor eventually cleared his throat and took the initiative.

"The Ke'Lani are many things but among these is direct- we think you vitally important to the galaxy, Master Skywalker, but your Jedi will end the way all previous Jedi have ended if you do not make sincere adjustments."

The Twi'leks noticeably bristled: their people had been close, vital, to the last two iterations of the Jedi Order and they were not so open minded as to take the Ke'Lani's opinion as anything other than personal. The Nightsister guffed, "Given your ideas on how to live and train you would sooner make addicts than warriors- not all can stomach your lifestyle and retain their Balance. Ke'Lani practices have always tempted the Jedi but there is a reason your people are never Jedi- you do not live within boundaries others can easily follow."

The Sullastans were bobbing their heads, jabbering in their tongue to one another, before one spoke, "Most honorable Nightsister surely you aren't arguing for the path of the Dathomir- the witches of your planet have gone to rather extreme, sometimes unseemly methods, to achieve their desired result."

The Nightsister seemed unphased by the implication, "The Empire destroyed a planet with thousands of citizens and the galaxy balks, the Rebellion destroys a Death Star with thousands of workers on it and nobody mourns or chastises them: power is only unseemly when we disagree with who holds it."

Here the Sullastans and Twi'Leks both pricked up, looking ominous, while the Haspan prince laughed, "Why are tempers flaring? This is old hat in politics- when one regime enters the previous is always demonized. Sometimes regimes are pleasant, sometimes they are terrors. My interest is in the conditions here: how are you testing the students? How are you selecting them? When my father was young he saw Jedi select children- he said they would never take them if they were older than toddlers. Are you still asking parents to sacrifice babies and have nothing more to do with them?"

Luke regarded the prince, rumors were he had a Force sensitive daughter he was trying to school but she was no longer a baby, "By the old standards the Jedi would have rejected me."

"They accepted Anakin." Tena offered, her eyes flicking to Ben, sensing his interest.

"Much to their regret." Fera Burtal hissed.

Both Luke and Ben looked down at their laps and Tena spoke up, Ben's ears perked towards her, "An unfair example- there were many more apprentices taken by the Old Republic Jedi who turned to your Dark Side having been conditioned since infancy to be Jedi. The flaw isn't in the person, it is in the system. In accepting Anakin the Temple showed some logic: great power, great potential, should always be accepted and shaped. Without guidance we are shooting a weapon into the sky and hoping it doesn't hit anything important."

The Sullastans bit at her quickly, each trading off sentences, and then Lor San Tekka cut in, his voice deep and gravely intoned, "How would you prevent someone like Anakin being trained? He was shown to have too many strong, negative emotions and instead of keeping his power blunt we honed it."

Tekka had been one of the few child apprentices to survive Anakin's massacre having been transported out of the Temple to a specialist for a strange, unidentified cough that kept sitting in his lungs. He eyed the Ke'Lani with no small amount of concern though he was less hostile looking than the Twi'leks who also had long memories of the Skywalker name.

Tena shrugged, "It is not possible to teach someone not to feel- that was always the problem with the Jedi. The Jedi preached that their pupils should not give in to Dark emotions but they continually tell them to stop feeling them. _Don't be angry, don't be jealous, don't be scared._ I find it a terrible thing to ask of children- children _naturally_ get afraid, and angry, and jealous. They have to learn what those things are, when it is appropriate to feel them, how to understand their own feelings, and then learn not to be controlled by them. The Jedi were, ironically, so frightened of creating Sith that they tried to erase their students' negative emotions...this wound up forcing them to erase positive ones. Jedi have never been allowed to love, to marry, to even engage in basic and natural physical relationships. Their single most physical relationship is with a lightsaber- an instrument of war. How do you expect to teach them how to control emotions you refuse to let them feel? I have never had to train a Nexu- you would never throw me in a pit with one and expect me to adequately control it. I do not understand how you can think stripping children of their emotions is the only way to ensure that they will never, potentially, discover that they have them. That's why I do not think it the greatest mistake of the Jedi to ever accept Anakin Skywalker- they acknowledged that controlling his emotions, his existing emotions, was the greater task."

Tekka slammed his hands on the table, "Skywalker _slaughtered_ unarmed children."

"You _slaughtered_ hundred of clones when you attacked Imperial Storm Troopers- sometimes using surprise attacks to catch them unarmed and unawares, not even providing them an opportunity to defend themselves. I do not see your righteous indignation for their deaths." Tena quipped, her face was emotionless though she had caused Tekka's to go nearly purple. Ben saw a phantom smile on her face- Tekka's reaction was proving her point.

Luke held up a calming hand, regarding Tena Korza with great interest. He could finally see the spark that had held Ben's fascination- and when he stole a glance at his nephew he saw that the boy's eyes were fixed on the girl, watching her weave her argument with practiced ease. Luke opened his mouth to address Tena but before he could Ben's voice rang out, "How do you control emotions like that?"

Tena's face changed a little when she looked at him, Luke saw it- a softening, but then her eyes steeled over. Her father was watching too though Luke had greater difficulty reading Tel'tor but he thought, imagined maybe, that Tel'tor was watching his daughter's face with a hint of surprise. Tena's voice was a little uneven, ever so slightly, when she answered, "When you learn to feel emotions and understand _why_ you feel them the next logical step is to learn when to follow them. You all tell me you trust your feelings when you are here but none of you really understand half the things in your heads, I can feel the confusion going through here."

"If we follow our emotions _then_ learn to control them we might end up doing horrible things before we learn the consequences...do the Ke'Lani live with so much regret?" Ben hit right back, unconcerned with the fact that all eyes were now on the youngest people in the room.

"No, it is the job of all of us to make sure that our younger generations know consequences from a young age."

Ben leaned back in his chair, perhaps thinking of Vader though his eyes never left Tena, "How do you stop someone from following their feeling to their own downfall?"

"We teach control- I may _feel_ _angry_ at my father when he scolds me- I don't harass him for upsetting me. I may _hate_ how inept some members of the Senate are but I do not seek to kill them as a punishment . I may have a _feeling_ that I want to eat my bodyweight in Kanji cakes but to do so would make me intolerably sick. I may have a _feeling_ that I'd like to see you naked, I don't break into your room at night to peek. We teach such things on Ke'La. Why don't you learn them here so you aren't so worried what will happen if you feel angry?"

Tel'tor's hand moved over to Tena's, tapping it lightly, and she sat further back in her seat. Ben's eyes dropped to his lap, he could feel his face getting red as a Mustafarian sunset, and Luke quickly re-directed the conversation. Ben had so wanted a seat at this table but now found himself distracted when he tried to focus.

 _Why would she say that? Is she mocking me? Does she know that I...how I...dammit she thinks I'm a fool. And the longer I sit here the longer she's right._

The debate went on for nearly two hours before it adjourned. Many left the room slowly but Tena received one look from her father and scuttled out first. Ben saw her leave and dashed to follow her. Tel'tor tried to follow but Luke touched his arm, "Give them a moment."

Tel'tor's eyes looked distant, "Give them a minute or an hour, they may well come to the same conclusion."

"Which is?" Luke thought that Ben might be going to argue with the girl or at least stubbornly stomp his feet in defiance of her degradation during the debate- he had too much of his parents in him to take a jab like that laying down and Luke knew his nephew's pride was a nut they were constantly working to crack.

Tel'tor actually smirked, looking down at his feet and shaking his great, white head. His eyes were shining when he looked back at Luke, tutting, "Tena is right- your people do need to get more in touch with their emotions. It helps them see beyond their own views of things….but I shall obey Master Skywalker in his own home. Give them a moment."

In the hallway Tena was walking briskly back to the ship and Ben ran up behind her, calling her name but she didn't turn around. He grabbed her arm to spin her and when he saw her face her cheeks were pink.

 _Good, be embarrassed._ He thought and before he could stop himself he was snapping at her, "Why would you say that in there?"

Tena nodded, "I know...that was terribly wrong of me. I normally am much more level-headed, my father was not pleased at all. He told me to go straight back to my room. I'm very sorry that everyone had to hear that Ben."

"I didn't realize…how did..." He stuttered, "It was cruel to say to me, to tease me like that in front of everyone."

She nodded, "I know...you just…"

She sighed and he gripped her arm, "What?"

"You make me forget my manners. I'm terribly distracted when you're near."

Ben froze for a moment then dropped her arm, his eyes narrowed as though looking for the joke, suspicious she was still teasing him, "Do you mean...it's true?"

Tena's eyes lit up but behind him were footsteps and she looked, saw her father, and bowed her head, "I am sorry for embarrassing you….we will talk tomorrow? If my father forgives my behavior, of course."

Ben nodded mutely and before he fully processed it her father swept her under his arm and led her away.

Ben walked back to his room, wondering exactly what sort of distraction he made for her. He had walked right by his sister who was waiting for him by his room, anxious to know how the debate went. He wasn't in the mood for her bubbliness and questions, he snipped at her, "If you wanted to know so much about it you should have come."

She was hardly put off by his barbs, having long since gotten used to his prickliness, "Don't make me look for it in your head."

Ben bristled, "Fine, fine...what do you want to know?"

She stayed there for an hour dragging information out of him but he was only half-paying attention to her- his thoughts kept running back and forth over what Tena said and the impossible conclusion that she may have some form of feelings for him.

* * *

Tel'tor Korza was, normally, exceedingly proud of his daughter. He, rightfully, thought her smart, beautiful, and capable- he had fostered a wonderful life for her where she chose her career (he'd have been lying if he said he wasn't pleased she chose to follow him into the Senate and had begun bringing her with him the day after she asked, she was five at the time), chose her education (on Ke'La Tena was considered advanced- she had gone through some of their most rigorous tests and had poured over hundreds of rare volumes in the planet's famed library) and he had been pleased with her easy communication with him. She had told him, not two years ago, that she was going to take a lover- an older boy at the Archives who was enamoured of her. When he had nodded and asked her why she said that she was curious- _so many people do so many foolish things for love and sex, Resseck is a good man and he adores me, I respect him deeply. I'd like to see what all the requisite fuss is about_. He had, as most parents on their planet did, a long conversation with her where they weighed pros and cons. Tena's mind, her thoughts, were normally open to him- she thought of nothing she wasn't apt to share with him (though he would be remiss to not point out that he hadn't liked the memories of her brief time with Resseck being so freely shared) and she was exceedingly inquisitive- she was constantly asking and asking and asking questions of him. He had let Tena speak for him at the Senate- she had always been the perfect specimen of Ke'Lani stoicism and logic. He supposed he was bound to feel closer with her as a single parent, especially as she was his only child, but he had always felt like Tena truly respected him as her father and wanted that closeness.

Which is why he didn't like that he had been blindsided by her comments about Ben Solo one little bit.

He had put his hand on hers and she hadn't even realized he had pushed into her thoughts- he caught the full frenzy of them: _desire and restraint, temptation and a constant battle for control, the wish she could reach out and touch him…_

 _Tena!_

Her thoughts snapped back to neutral and he tutted, _You were just incredibly rude and, beyond that, broke the first rule of diplomacy that I ever taught you. You are never to show so much emotion- nobody wants your emotion to fuel or fight theirs when protocol and method is the ticket. You started so strong and ended so sloppy. I'm disappointed in you._

He felt her remorse, _I'm sorry, father...I lost track of myself._

He snorted, _You lost yourself in that boy….when were you going to tell me about this?_

 _Father, please…_

She didn't want to talk with him. He was shocked for the second time in as many minutes.

When they got back to her room that night he pointed to her chair and she sat, waiting for his opening remarks. He made her wait in silence for nearly ten minutes-not out of deliberate cruelty but out of true consternation with her clouding what he wanted to say.

Finally he said, "What is going on Tena?"

She looked up at him and had a small, fragile smile on her face, "I don't know...but it is important."

"Tena he's Skywalker's nephew…."

"I know…"

"He's being trained as a Jedi...and Jedi swear to give up a life of physical love. Of any love. There's nothing for you there."

She hung her head, a small phrase dripped from her lips, "I know…"

Tel'tor dropped to his knees and hugged his daughter, "And here I was thinking you were arguing so passionately with Skywalker for the sake of your own people and not your own heart….oh my poor girl."

She let her father hug her, let herself feel the weight of what he was saying, and tried, "But it isn't right that Ben should be so young and have so many experiences erased without a thought."

"To us, certainly. Remember, my dear, that we cannot force all people to be like us. It isn't our duty to dictate the choices of others."

Tena felt deflated, she hadn't yet had to face a task like sorting out how badly she wanted Ben Solo and how utterly out of reach that was. She would, to sate her own desires, have to ask him to throw away the life he had on the off-chance that he wouldn't regret it later. She loved, and hated, how he looked at her- as if the whole world was happening behind her eyes, as if he could see every errant thought jumping through her brain. He unsettled her- she had kept a straight face in the Senate and felt like she wasn't hiding a thing from him.

When she took the jab at him in the meeting it was out of frustration that his questions had thrown her off balance, had distracted her, because she thought, maybe, just maybe, they were about her.

Maybe.

And then he had chased after her and acted as though he didn't have the slightest clue.

 _What if he feels the same way, father?_

 _Then it is your task, your burden, to be very very clear with him about what it means. It is your duty to make it clear to him that our ways are not his...and I know I am only your father but this is a very different situation than you have ever found yourself in. I think it best you leave it alone- to me, it feels like nothing good can come of it._

She hadn't pulled down one of her mental walls from her father, hadn't pulled that last patch from the dam. She was afraid to show him just how much she wanted Ben, how drawn to him she felt, as though it was more than just her desires but it was her whole fate.

 _He doesn't seem like a choice, father. He seems like a mandate._

Tel'tor paused, _In that I still think this is a bad idea that will end with you crying in my lap because you couldn't have him my greater instinct is to tell you to trust the Force and what it means._

He waited a moment before asking, selfishly, _Why didn't you tell me sooner?_

Tena blushed, _It just felt...private._

 _Resseck wasn't private?_ He teased but she didn't copy his jovial tone.

 _No. Not like this_.

That worried Tel'tor more than anything. He hoped, beyond hoped he prayed to his dead wife, that Tena would be alright by the end of all this- that he preferred she be happy but if she couldn't be he wanted her to be alright.

Part of him felt like it was going to be a slow-burning wish.

* * *

 ** _A/N_** I plan on updating this further- the story is over 100 pages in my Google Drive, waiting for me to tinker with it. Please hit "favorite" and "follow" so you can get the updates!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Clearly there has been a time jump. Will it be filled in? Who knows. "Chapter 3" is the breeding ground for flashbacks right now. See the earlier Author's Notes to see that the updating for this fic will be a bit different.

* * *

The second moon was full, it was springtime on Ke'La and while its people were all white and glowing the whole planet exploded in soft, pink flowers that dropped down from twisted trees with hanging branches. Tena would be lying if she said she had ever seen anything more beautiful than a moonscape of Spring in Ke'La- the whole planet was bathed in a soft blue light but the glow of fires, people and plants kept the place looking awake.

It was a shame that something was coming to interrupt it.

From behind her Leia cleared her throat, "Reports indicate they will be coming out of hyperspace any moment."

Tena nodded, watching the area of the sky she thought would hold the First Order ship soon. She smoothed over her belly-large and difficult to maneuver, she was due to deliver the babies at any moment. Leia reached out and stroked it too- something the General did now to assure herself that everyone was still alive and well.

"This is insanity." Leia repeated- she had made that judgment several times already.

"This is his chance." Tena rephrased, "His last chance. He knows I'm a creature of my word."

"And Snoke is one of his." Leia mumbled, utterly agitated with the turn of events and a bit peeved at Tena for causing them, but too concerned with the impending birth of her grandchildren to want a full-scale fight.

* * *

The battle was heated and growing worse, she couldn't tell just where all the fire was coming from but was drawing on as much power as she could to hold it at bay. Meanwhile, large belly and all, her deflecting staff was twirling about at a furious pace to protect herself from the barrage.

She was starting to think that letting Leia hide her might have been the best choice.

From across the battlefield Hux himself was stalking her. After his volatile fight with Ren had been broken up by Snoke there was only one thing left to do, one thing Hux had that could render Ren utterly empty- he could kill Tena and whatever mongrel scum was festering inside of her. That would do it- he could hear Ren's screams in his mind already.

Hux was using his blaster and his electro-pulses to great effect, cutting through the lines and heading straight for Tena. When he was about ten feet away from her they locked eyes and he held the blaster up to her, eye level, and clicked a button on the side. The weapon began rapid firing. She was wielding her staff expertly but she was tiring- her body simply couldn't do this forever.

 _Please, Ben. You promised._

From across the field, standing by Snoke, Kylo Ren heard her as clear as a bell in his head. He was amazed, floored even, by the display of Force power here on Ke'La- he could tell Snoke was as well. Neither of them would have been able to hold off cursory fire, fight, and still find the energy to send messages- it was complexity beyond their ken. The stores of strength in the Ke'Lani rivaled everything they knew about the most powerful among the Jedi or the Sith...this shouldn't have been possible.

Kylo Ren moved forward an inch as he saw Tena wielding a staff in the middle of the battle- _Fool, why aren't you in the back, off to the sides, anywhere? There is real danger here._

 _If we won't protect our own lives, we cannot expect anyone else to value them._

She was still talking to him, Snoke couldn't hear it but he could tell from Ren's increasing forward motion. He held out his hand and grabbed Ren's arm, "Do not forget why we are here."

"Of course." Ren agreed but his eyes were locked on Tena. Ultimately she was the price: Snoke had said as much, Ren knew it was why he had come. Still, saying he would come and being here suddenly felt terribly different. He was meant to watch-meant to later deliver the killing stroke- meant to determine the livelihood of the children- meant to….

Then he realized that bastard Hux was there- and putting in an impressive show of fighting her. Kylo Ren allowed himself to watch, to criticize Hux's heavy-handedness and Tena's conversely feather-light movements. She twirled, raised, blocked, parried, without it looking like years of careful training had molded her. She looked effortless- and she successfully knocked Hux's blaster out of his hand, holding her staff against him to limit his motion, about to incapacitate him.

Ren smiled- he hoped it would have been his honor to humiliate Hux but if it was Tena, clearly on the verge of giving birth, he would be equally pleased.

That's when it happened.

Hux suddenly regained his quickness-the slow, heavy motions of the blaster had been a distraction. As Tena's cane was aimed at his left hand from his blaster he grabbed a knife with his right hand, simple and sharp, and plunged it into her left collar bone, just above her heart.

When she screamed all the Ke'Lani around her screamed and the combined force of their cries created a wave in the Force that threw everything back five feet.

Everything except Kylo Ren.

In the same moment that their cries had been an intake of breath he had leapt from his observation point into the fray and pushed himself with two quick jumps to Tena. Hux turned toward him with that same insipid grin on his face and Ren did not hesitate, clearing Hux's head directly off his body. When Snoke raised himself from the ground he saw that Kylo Ren had crossed the battlefield, saw Hux's body.

 _So he has chosen._ Snoke glared, the rage of many years, the cloak of anger, slipped over him seamlessly. He wielded the darkness effortlessly, easily, as if he had been born to it.

Kylo Ren had his saber out in front of him, still aimed at Hux, and the boy was so focused on Tena that he failed to feel Snoke's power grip him. Snoke pulled Ren's arm that held the saber and the laser was slashed across Tena- her left cheek, across her chest, down and across her right palm, which had been reaching for him.

Instantly Ren powered down the weapon, screaming in protest and dropped to his knees to cradle her as she fell.

But Tena was not easily taken down. The force of Ren's blow did push her back and make her take a knee but her eyes found Snoke, and she felt the wave of the Force come from him, she felt Ben's surprise and rage over the attack.

 _It is not enough that you dragged him here to ask him to sacrifice me on your altar….you want to force his hand if he walks away. This was never a choice you were going to allow him to make._

Snoke's eyes narrowed at her from across the field, the answer plain, _No._

Tena felt Snoke intake power like people might intake breath and in that moment she raised her arm and flung a massive wave of power at him, sending him back a quarter of a mile. However as soon as she did it the blood from her face and chest began to seep, her shoulder was still gushing, her legs gave out and as around her the battle began to pick up its pace again she allowed herself to howl with the pain.

If Ben hadn't been there she would have fallen.

She looked up to see his face but only the mask was there- she reached up to take it off but her arm was going numb and all she managed to leave was the trace of bloodied fingermarks on the outside of the helmet.

 _So much blood._ Ben was staring at her, panicking, trying to remember all his lessons in wounds. _I focused so much on how to cause them...how do I stop this?_

He ripped his cape and held a long stretch of the fabric against the gushing wound on her chest, the saber-slash would have to wait for a moment. He picked her up- struggling under the added weight of the twins- and carried her toward the outskirts, toward a small snug cave by a lake on what might have been a picturesque field.

Childishly he wondered where he mother was, he knew she was close, he knew Luke was undoubtedly coming closer…. _Where the hell are they now?_

Tena reached out and touched his face but the mask was, again, in her way and Ben took it off, letting it tumble a few feet away. She smiled at him through the gore covering her face and just said, _"Ben"_ in a relieved whisper.

"I'm here." He stroked her cheek and closed his eyes, focusing the Force on her finding her injuries, stemming the bleeding. From inside of her he felt the twins: _panic, fear, pain, worry, concern._

 _Shhh._ He tried to soothe them, _Let me help her, please try to settle down._

They couldn't though, he heard their little heartbeats begin to race.

Tena felt it too and she gripped his shoulder, he opened his eyes and studied her face as she hissed, "If I get too weak….if my body senses they're in danger….it will try to save them. It will try to birth them."

Part of Ben laughed coldly _I knew it, I just knew it. Today is their birthday. Why am I always right?_

When Hux had rallied the troops by reminding them that a year ago today Star Killer base had been destroyed and the Rebellion had won an unfair advantage that it was the First Order's job to even out today Kylo Ren had known in the deepest part of his marrow that the twins would be born today- it had been as clear to him as his own hand before his face and now that Tena was grabbing him, telling him worriedly that she could go into labor, he wasn't shocked at all.

He shook off the feeling of dread and told her, "You're going to be fine, let me try to stop the bleeding."

Suddenly there was a blazing hot beam coming at them and Tena held up her hands, using the Force to freeze the blaster shot. Ben smiled-he had stolen the trick from her years ago. He turned on his saber and told her to let it come-he deflected it easily but the message was clear: this was an active war zone, labor here was a new level of lunacy.

He kept the saber lit but closed his eyes again to focus on her body, if he didn't stop her bleeding soon there would be nothing of her left to fix, and he started with the gaping hole in her chest Hux had left.

Ben sneered _I'm glad you're dead you jeering bastard. I warned you-I warned you I would kill you for your meddling and my only regret is that it didn't hurt more._

Tena slapped at the thought _Ben you need to focus- I'm getting too weak to do it myself._

He felt chastised and she used her powers to guide him through the biggest damage to the biggest artery. Ben was able to seal the artery though not the dozens of veins around it and at least slowed the progress of her bleeding out. He twirled his thumb on his saber and took the intensity down- it was currently so hot that it cut through flesh like a blade, moving so fast that the heat didn't have time to cauterize the wounds. If he could lower the intensity the blade's shifting beam would have more time to burn: it could stop some of her bleeding. She was in his head, shadowing his movements, and she nodded, "Do it."

He hesitated for a moment, _If the shock is too great you'll go into labor anyway._

 _Better than bleeding to death. I'd like to be awake when they're born._

Ben nodded grimly and held the saber in both hands, mostly to steady his own nerves, and carefully put it into the wound on her chest. She couldn't help it- she howled like she was being murdered, he didn't expect her to hold it in but the sound of it wretched his heart.

 _I'm sorry._

She was on the verge of passing out and didn't respond to him, but as he pulled the saber back he noted that the wound was at least no longer bleeding. It was a festering, blistered burn in the third degree, completely charred and oozing, but it wasn't bleeding. Also the smell of her burning skin was etched into Ben's nostrils.

A bit delayed the twins began to scream in his head- a torture that made Tena's pain seem mild. They were screaming, agonized, with no idea why he had done it.

 _Helping, I'm trying to help._ He tried to explain but they were screaming, petrified.

Tena looked at him and shook her head- the twins were going into shock, and it was going to push her into labor. They were going to scramble to get out, to get away from her body when they feared it was dying, and a rushed delivery was dangerous on a good day.

* * *

 **A/N:** Yet another scene/chapter that has a pretty high chance of being updated...look for indicators in the chapter listings on the website. In the meantime keep reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N** : Have you read the previous ones? Why not? Go do that. I can't keep repeating myself.

* * *

When he woke his arm was cold, she wasn't lying next to him. He craned his neck around sharply and saw her by the window, leaning against the sill. She seemed to be getting her strength back because she wasn't gripping the ledge as tightly as yesterday. For a moment he just watched her- silhouetted against the bright spring sun, wearing her white nightdress, with the white wooden cradle gently rocking beside her, it was a perfect picture. He couldn't help it, he sighed. He saw the muscles on her back twist a little as she cocked her ear towards the sound.

"Was this what you pictured all those years ago?" She asked quietly.

He knew she was half teasing him and half serious- he noted that she was not turning around so that he had to look at the burned gashes and deep, pusing wound that now marred what had otherwise been her pristine facade. He would always feel responsible for them- a weight he thought would never lift from him. Guiltily he looked over at the dresser and saw the saber hilt placidly sitting as though it couldn't harm a fly.

"More or less." He replied honestly and was quiet for a moment, "I used to have a dream very like this, you were standing by a window just as you are, there was the cradle. In the dream you were always laughing. I used to think it was our future."

Tena smiled and turned to face him, the scars did rob him of one ounce of his calmness, "It still can be."

"Only you would go through what you have gone through and say that." Ben pulled himself into a sitting position and held open his hand, used the Force to call his shirt to him, and Tena watched it ryely, "If you kept yourself open to the ways of Ke'Lani you might one day understand it."

He tugged on his shirt and walked over to the window, running one of his hands up and down her spine. He kissed her shoulder and then looked down at the cradle- he still felt a rush of awe realizing they were real, that they were staying, that they were theirs. Right now they were huddled together like pups, their skin was pearlescent-more pink than their mothers but too white to be fully human, and their black fuzzy hair was a profound mess. One, the boy, kept opening and closing his tiny fist while he slept while his sister kept jerking her leg, repeatedly kicking her brother's knee though he hardly noticed. Their breathing was so soft that it was silent and Ben ran the back of his hand gently down his daughter's spine and watched as her little body curled onto itself more. Then he brushed the mop of hair back from his son's forehead and the little boy's hand reached up to rub at the gesture- neither woke. The small exchange made Tena's smile deepen and she leaned into Ben's shoulder, wrapping her arm around his waist and leaning on him. He could feel it in that moment: she was still weak, she leaned on him far more heavily than out of a purely loving gesture for touch. Without needing to be asking he wrapped his other arm around her and helped her walk back to the bed, propping her up with his pillow and then letting his head rest on her lap. They were silent, contemplating the events that had rapidly occurred over the last two weeks. Tena was stroking his hair, staring at the door to their room, when Ben remarked, "You're doing much better already...when do you think they will pronounce you well enough to travel?"

"Well enough to exile, you mean?" She knew what was really on his mind.

He nodded, "You keep telling me they're being kind but with newborns and no planet to go to I don't see their mercy."

Tena shrugged, "I think you do understand better than you let on but it is easier to make them seem like monsters for casting us out then realize many places will turn us out because they remember you as Kylo Ren. I betrayed my people's most intimate secret- the penalty was always going to be exile, I knew as much when I did what I did. I did what I did full well knowing it was wrong and full well knowing it would come at a great cost, but I felt doing it was more important in that moment than doing what I knew to be good. Doing good might have cost us their lives, my life, and so I chose what I chose to live, to protect them. But the cost of three lives isn't equal to the privacy of a whole planet's power- to a secret that would change the Force as we know it. I know you say you don't understand but I think you rather see it more clearly than most."

He turned on to his side so that his back was facing her; this was a conversation they had already went over and he always felt chastised by it. She was right: he felt responsible. Childishly he wanted to be able to say he was sorry and have everything go back to how it was before the Knights of Ren- but another part of him wasn't sorry for most of what he did. He had done what he did because he thought it was right, apologizing for it now would be disingenuous. But that wasn't to say there weren't a few things, a few people, he would one day have to look squarely in the eye and apologize to in good faith.

Tena seemed to know his thoughts, "He's by the door, you know. He's been there for two days waiting for you to open it."

Ben felt clouded, raged, though he couldn't tell if it was at Luke or himself.

 _If only he had come sooner-_

 _Don't live like that my love._ Her voice was like honey, like smooth velvety wine from Kriss, like the lava candy from Mourqez that melted down your throat and left all your insides warm.

"You make it seem to easy…" He complained.

She shrugged again and stroked his hair, "It isn't…..and it is. It's a choice, Ben. Only you get to decide which it is."

He didn't understand her when she talked like that-it all sounded very wonderful but he had no idea how to reduce the storm inside of him to something that could remotely be described as 'easy'. A frustrated noise escaped him and he tried to clear his mind, tried to find that higher path that he had always been taught to find. It had been harder to do so the last few weeks, especially since the twins. When they were asleep they were quiet enough but when they were awake their consciousness was constantly stepping on his, constantly clanging, banging, tripping, pushing, prodding- he imagined it was the mental equivalent of how their curious toddler years would manifest. It was both intoxicatingly intriguing and annoying because he felt pushing them out of his headspace might be traumatizing- they might not be old enough to understand it yet- but he could rarely deal with the full scope of his feelings as a result.

Leia had only briefly been in and she hadn't looked at Ben since the birth. When she was in it was during those first few days when Tena hadn't woken, Leia had come to help Ben and the nurses with the babies but refused to look at her son's face. Unable to bear the tense silence, unwilling to push into her mind and unravel it to see how she felt, he merely asked if he and his sister had been that way with the Force- curious and all-present.

Though Leia kept herself staring at her baby granddaughter, who she was changing, she paused as though Ben hit her. She drew in a ragged breath and then looked at the baby seriously, as though wondering if this was a ploy, and merely replied, "I have no idea what you mean. You were both sensitive, Luke could feel your presences and I would know you were going to cry before you did but...no. Nothing like what you're describing."

Leia wrapped the baby in a long white cloth, fastened it, stuck the newborn back in her crib, and left leaving Ben to contemplate why his children were capable of doing this. He later asked one of the native Ke'Lani nurses if their babies acted like that and she shook her head and offered, _"Naska geji Forkå."_

He didn't know what that meant until a few days ago when Tena was fully awake and wanted him to talk to her and tell her everything she had missed while sleeping. She made him repeat the phrase and quirked her eyebrows, "It means _Never question the Force_ or something like _Life never makes mistakes_. We say it to people when we explain how there are no coincidences...curious that she used it here."

"You didn't realize they were...different?" Ben struggled to find a better word and watched as Tena's face grew pensive, "I had very few people to discuss it with-it never occurred to me to ask about it, I assumed it was natural. They've been doing that since...well...since they developed large enough to react. Maybe they could always do it and they just weren't big enough or strong enough for me to feel it."

They both looked at the crib at that moment and sensed that a crying fit was about to start-the twins were hungry. In those first few days of unconsciousness there had been nurses and droids coming in, milking Tena like some unconscious Bantha, and bottling it for the twins but as soon as she was awake and able to hold one of them she insisted on feeding them directly from her breast. It had become one of Ben's favorite times during these odd days where there was nothing else being demanded of him than to sit and take care of his little family in this little room while Tena worked up the strength to leave it. Those first few days she had been so weak, the babies had seemed so helpless and fragile, that Ben was convinced they would never be strong enough to leave the room- that this was his eternal punishment, stuck in a little white room on a glowing planet with all the beings he loved just out of his reach.

Now Tena was improving, the twins were getting a little stronger and bigger each day, and he was confronted with having to ponder life outside of this room. Only now did he appreciate what a safety net it had been: his betrayal of Snoke, his tending of Tena, had all changed his life very drastically very fast. Being left alone in the room where he needed nothing more to do in a day than feed infants and change their linens was, actually, a much needed quiet space.

He was now sad that it wasn't going to last.

And now that Tena was awake she wasn't going to let him ignore the people outside of this room forever.

 _Nudge, nudge_ -a phantom hunger pain hit Ben and he got up before Tena could tell him she felt it too. In a moment the twins would be crying for food, if he could get to them before their hunger could fully wake them then nobody had to cry for the meal. Tena smiled as he swept one large hand down and carefully picked up their son- he responded to them so fast, so naturally, and he was quick to prevent them from any discomfort; he also rotated them without thinking about it, presenting her the boy first this time when last time he had given her their girl. He didn't see that this was the most calm, the most in sync, the most peaceful he had ever been in her memory- those babies were like a balm to his chaotic soul. Ben carefully laid their boy on her chest and waited for her to cradle him before relinquishing his grip; then he quickly scooped up the girl as she realized that her brother was gone and became fussy over the sudden coldness around her. Ben's hands covered nearly her whole body because she was so tiny and he held her against his chest as her brother latched on and began suckling happily.

 _Just a few moments,_ he thought as his daughter's sleep-numbed presence nuzzled into his, _just get warm here for a few minutes and it will be your turn._

The baby was happy to listen and snuggled her head against his chest, breathing deeply.

Tena smoothed her son's hair while he ate and looked over at Ben-she was forever captivated by the image of such a big, intimidating man softly holding such a tiny baby.

"We need to name them soon." Tena reminded him softly and he looked down at his daughter, with her eyes still closed it was hard to remember their color but she and her brother both had warm brown eyes already, like his. Their names felt like a huge commitment to Ben- names, as he knew, followed you and thus should be carefully chosen.

"I know." He nodded, kissing the downy fine hair that was crazed on the top of his daughter's head. He already had one idea, though it was so deep a secret, so painful an honor to bestow, that he wasn't sure he could actually say it out loud.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hey, look it's Luke! And Rey! If you aren't into my use of Rey these next couple of chapters may be rough for you.

* * *

Luke Skywalker had learned patience in his years if he learned nothing else. After the eight years of waiting for some change, some hope, some awakening he thought waiting outside of a door for a few days would be small.

A huge part of him wished desperately that he was still alone, surrounded by rocks, staring at an ocean.

 _This will be hard. That does not mean it will be impossible_. _It will be painful. That does not mean it will kill me_.

Simple lessons like this now felt easy, almost common to him, but he was only now their master. Not for the first time did he realize how young he had been to undertake what he had undertaken, how inexperienced and naive.

Not for the first time did he wonder if the Force intended to let Kylo Ren destroy his first attempt at a Jedi Order so that he might become a better master, a more fit Jedi, before instructing the next generation.

Not for the first time in the last few days was he aware of the irony of thinking that now when he had once so vehemently rejected Tena Korza's theory that Vader's fall had actually brought about balance to the Force precisely by destroying the Jedi so that they could rebuilt.

 _Time reveals what naught else can._ He reminded himself. He was never going to become a master of the Jedi arts overnight, and he was a fool to keep thinking that he was ever going to be truly done learning.

Which had been the one lesson the Ke'Lani girl had tried to tell him almost a decade ago.

Beside him Rey was fidgety and Leia kept pacing-Luke reached out a wave of calming energy on both, knowing words wouldn't exactly do the same kind of soothing. Rey looked at him and quieted herself, appreciative of the aid as a helpful rebuke for her lost focus. Leia on the other hand looked peeved- she liked being left to her miserable pacing, it was where she did all of her best self-loathing and she had been missing time lately in the increasing number of meetings the Rebellion kept calling her into. It seemed that since Kylo Ren's betrayal of Snoke the Rebellion was gaining the upperhand and the news of what had happened to Ren was in a dozen different places; Leia, he knew, was torn on what to reveal and what to shroud. He knew she was worried about her grandchildren, he knew she was worried about Tena...and she was worried about Ben too. Some were calling for Kylo Ren to fight with the Rebellion, other Rebellion members were calling for his head. Leia had heard all arguments and they had only increased her anxiety and worry. He could sense her frustration-for so long all she had wanted was her son back but now the cost of getting him, the baggage that gift now came with, were challenging her to her very core. She wanted her son back….but barring the larger political issues it entailed she wasn't prepared to look at Han's murderer so easily, so freely forgive what she only saw as a son's greatest betrayal of his father.

Luke chose not to comment on those thoughts. Leia hadn't been there when he cut off Vader's appendages so she wasn't exactly aware of how very gray the line between loving and hating a father could be. Vader had always been a more abstract threat to her outside of that first fateful meeting but Luke...Luke had had to face Vader and seek Anakin underneath him, had had to defend himself from blows while he looked into the eyes of Obi-Wan's killer, of the murderer of Luke's mother, of the father that had abandoned him. By the time Leia learned the truth about Vader he was dead and she didn't have to face those lifeless helmeted eyes.

All of these thoughts filtered through Luke as he waited outside of a door that concealed his nephew, one-time apprentice, and the murderer of his Jedi students. This boy, now a man, had destroyed planets, and killed Han and had spent the last two weeks changing infant linens and bottle-feeding babies- the contrast of Ben and Kylo Ren had never been sharper and for Luke this was a moment tantamount to that last round with Vader just before Palpatine realized Skywalker had won afterall.

Luke was just hoping that the Skywalker part had, indeed, won out again.

Rey and Leia shared a look- Luke wondered if the hallway was just as hard for those two as the room beyond was for him. Leia saw him watching and he felt her push him away, block him out. She was not going to be slow to forgive him for letting her believe her daughter was dead for all that time. She was not going to forgive those lost years or the fact that Han died not knowing the truth. She was not going to forgive Luke for hiding Rey's memories so that what she had left of Han was all crumpled up in a corner like old wrappers. Leia blamed herself for so much of what had gone wrong with her twins and her marriage but that part, that mistake, she was happy to lay firmly on Luke's shoulders.

He wasn't challenging her feelings on the matter, he knew what he had done was terrible but he also thought it was the only way to really protect a little girl whose whole life had been threatened; after witnessing destruction she might never recuperate from, and being betrayed by the person she was supposed to trust the most deeply he had just wanted to keep her safe. He thought it was the only way to keep sweet innocent Rey, who always seemed so much younger than her broody brother, from the Dark Side for as long as possible. To hope that sweetness would blossom instead of fester- to hope that she would be saved if she could only be allowed to find her inner strength, her true beliefs, unswayed by him or Ben or any of the horrors around her.

He had been right.

It had been a terrible thing to do to grieving parents he professed to love, but it had been the right thing to do.

Stuck in those thoughts the doors opened and a woman's voice called out, "You can come in now."

The three in the hall looked at one another warily and Leia nodded at Luke, "She means you."

Rey looked hurt that she still hadn't been invited in; Leia had guarded against Rey and Ben being in the same room like a rabid wampa. Leia stared at Rey now silently willing the girl to stay away from her toxic brother but the news had so recently been unearthed, Ben had so recently been away from the First Order, that Rey was jumping out of her skin to see him and see how she would react-to begin unraveling the tangled cord of her memories. Leia, on the other hand, was not ready for that meeting. She had lived with the thought that Ben killed his sister for years- she wasn't prepared to let Rey alone with him before she was positive he wasn't going to hurt her. Her daughter had come back to her from the dead- she'd be damned if that was going to change and she was going to have to lose her all over again.

For the first time in months Leia found herself wishing those two boys, tripping over one another for Rey's attention, were here to distract the girl but they were on a mission and the Skywalker-Solo family reunion was happening in a healing house on Ke'La whether Leia liked it or not.

* * *

When Luke walked in he maintained a calm facade and he could see Tena was as well- he looked at Ben and saw that the boy still had trouble masking his face, at least that gave Luke a sense that his nephew wasn't entirely gone. The worry, the anxiousness, the rage, was washing over his eyes but below his neck he was the picture of calm- perhaps because he was holding the baby boy in his hands. The infant's eyes were just opening from sleep and to keep him from fussing Ben had to keep gently but repeatedly patting his back. The infant coughed slightly and Ben adjusted his hands, but the momentary pull of his attention away from Luke and toward the baby served to calm him more. Luke wasn't sure what to think- his own father hadn't been moved to peace by the birth of his children, Luke wasn't prepared to think of infants as an instant cure-all to a tortured heart, as something strong enough to pull Ben away from the Dark Side.

 _But their very existence presented him with a choice...he was meant to sacrifice them. And their mother….instead he's here nurturing all of them._

It seemed to Luke there was reason to hope- even if it was as fragile as a baby.

"Master Skywalker," Tena bowed her head, respectfully, and he was reminded of his first meeting with her. Spare the scars she still was much the same, "I told you we would meet again."

"Tena Korza," Luke said the name slowly, like a spell, "I am pleased to find you looking so well. I was told you were in dire straights for the last two weeks."

Tena inclined her head in thanks, "I was grievously wounded, near death. But now I am on the path to recovery. So many in life endure the same."

The metaphor seemed heavy-handed but it was an elegant way to address the gnawing presence of awkwardness: she stood by Ben now as she had a decade earlier because she believed in him, because she believed that he could always choose to change, that he could come back from any faults...even the Dark Side. If she didn't believe in Ben she wouldn't be there, he wouldn't be holding that baby, and this whole conversation would be going very differently. Her rugged determination, her fierce belief, reminded Luke of his own much-mocked belief in Vader. Again, he felt hope.

While Tena was sitting, always in her characteristic white, with her wide-eyed daughter in her arms, Ben was standing behind them, his son cradled against his chest like a shield. For a tall man Ben's presence seemed almost diminutive in that moment.

Finally Ben took a shallow breath and nodded briefly as a greeting, "Uncle."

"Ben." Luke nodded back.

From against Ben's chest the baby let out an annoyed mewl, frustrated by what was now apparently unwanted patting, and the mewl caught his tiny nose unawares and he sneezed rather loudly for such a small creature.

Luke couldn't help but smile, "Bless you…..have you named him?"

Ben looked down at Tena whose face remained impassive- if he thought she would do this task for him he was sorely mistaken. Ben looked down at his son and over at Luke, "We named him Owen."

The name hit Luke like warm air on the desert. He was happy to have had years to practice keeping a straight face, but Tena saw his smile tighten ever so slightly, "And...your daughter?"

Ben stood up straighter but his eyes seemed hollow, haunted. He pursed his lips for a moment before saying, "Hana."

Saying the name seemed to take enormous effort and Ben looked tired from it.

Though he tried hard to hide his feelings Luke's heart jumped into his throat and he felt a hope he thought was dead. _The Skywalker side won out after all._

In Tena's arms Hana fidgeted, gurgling peacefully, and Luke looked at the small pearl of a baby and then up at its mother. He remembered Tena as she had been years ago- everything about her was white, pale, glowing. Now she mirrored her children- milky pale but for the black streaks. The burn that ran from her left ear spread across her cheek and down her chin where it temporarily broke and resurfaced on her chest, crossing that great white plane and then cutting across her right palm, though she didn't seem to notice the pain of the burn on her hand as she held the infant. In her hands the little cloud-white child wrapped in white linens seemed startlingly pale next to her deep black hair- so did Owen. It seemed almost funny to Luke that all the twists and turns that had taken place led to two little lives that were born starkly black and white and already capable, if what Leia had told him was true, of interacting through the Force. If he hadn't given thought to the nature of the Light and Dark sides before now staring at Ben's light-and-dark children gave him serious pause- there had always been that nagging legend, the answer to the proverbial question, of how a Skywalker would bring balance to the Force.

Tena stood up slowly and Luke watched as Ben's eyes went immediately to her, following her motions, seeing if she was strong enough. Ben shifted Owen in his arms and was reaching for Tena's elbow just before she needed him to balance her. Luke noted the look of concern on Ben's face- he didn't want Tena pushing herself too far too fast. Tena walked over to Luke and offered him Hana. Luke looked to Ben before reaching out, waiting for the man's nod, and then found himself transported back to when Leia's twins were this small. Unable to help himself he smiled at Hana who was reaching for his beard.

"Hello Hana." He felt warmth crawl over his insides and thought to himself _Han would approve._

He felt the gentle nudge just then, it was questioning, inquiring, unsure of what was being said or who Luke was. Though it didn't have words yet it had feelings and Luke tried to hide his surprise- it was Hana who was pushing those emotions onto him.

 _You know your father-_ Luke focused on a picture of Ben. The little orb seemed to sparkle, he sensed warmth and love. _He had a father too-_ This time on Han, classic Han, young and smirking, cavalier in the face of the world's complexities. Then Luke thought of another scene, of Han embracing his son, a son who was recognizable as the man before him. The little orb seemed awed, mesmerized, and then excited. He watched the baby's eyes light up and blink slowly at him, unable to do more besides gurgle at him. _You are named after your father's father._

The little orb didn't seem particularly interested in that and was hovering around the space in his head where the pictures had been, looking for something to stare at. Luke tried showing her a picture of Ben as he had been before his turn, Ben in the full handsomeness and torture of his youth before the Dark Side carried him away. He was fresh-faced, prone to a broody expression but in this particular memory he was laughing. _Ben. Father._

The feelings of the infant fluttered, confused and Luke suddenly saw a vague, blurry image of Ben, scarred face and all.

The newborn was trying to correct him.

 _Same._

The baby hiccupped in response and then yawned widely, covered her big eyes with her hands and adjusted her legs before falling fast asleep- apparently done with the conversation. When Luke looked up from the baby Ben was staring at him with something between wonder and fear, Tena was looking at him with a curiosity but nowhere near Ben's intensity.

"Did you feel it?" Ben choked out, almost at a whisper. Suddenly he realized that part of him was afraid that his children's abnormality would be rejected, that they were somehow born bad, that this was going to create a further rift in the already wide gorge between Ben and his family, because he knew he would defend them to his last breath.

Luke handed the baby back to Tena and eyed Owen curiously, "Can they both do it?"

"They've been doing it since the womb." Ben stroked Owen's back, like his sister he was settling in to nap, "Even when I was far away I could feel them, prodding at the back of my mind for attention. Now that we are close by they …. they know who we are. They are aware."

"They tell us when they're hungry before they cry- we can feel it." Tena offered, one arm cradling Hana and the other moved to Ben's back, lighting stroking it the way he was stroking his son.

Luke was silent, pensive, and for a moment looked beyond Ben, "Your mother and I could always tell when you and your sister were hungry, we could always tell what the crying meant...lonely or cold or wet. But we could focus on you and tell...it never felt like you were communicating back. Hana just hosted a level of conversation with me that I would think it impossible for a baby only a few weeks old to do."

They were quiet. Luke had left out the anecdotes about Han's utter jealousy that he had positively no idea what his children wanted when they cried except by trial and error. A memory flicked into his consciousness of Han holding a baby-bottle, cock-sure he had guessed right, only to be profusely vomited on by his little daughter as Luke and Leia looked on, laughing hysterically.

"What does it mean?" Ben finally asked, looking at Owen worriedly as though he was holding a tiny bomb, wondering if he would have to defend these small lifeforms against Luke and the Rebellion. He knew, instantly, that he would- nothing, _nobody,_ was going to hurt them. They hadn't asked for the long and twisted legacy they were bound to receive- and Ben wasn't going to take the Jedi Master pronouncing anything against them lightly. But he knew resolutely that Snoke's hold on him, that Snoke's suggestions about the proper sacrifice for power and control, could never be louder than the two delicate heartbeats he swore he heard in his dreams. Snoke had demanded their lives as payment for power- Ben was never going to trade them for anything so petty.

Luke was older and wiser, he knew better than to give an answer that he didn't really feel confident in, "I'm not sure. They are very strong in the Force but they are wielding it...differently. I honestly don't know if it means anything or if it is just how they are."

Ben's eyes were clouded, the fear still there but it seemed to subside a little, it made way for a slight hope that his children were gifted, were never going to be threatened or harmed.

Luke saw it and, tentatively, reached out a hand and touched Ben's arm, "Congratulations Ben, they are beautiful."

The stormclouds cleared and Ben looked at Luke's hand, realizing that this was the first time his uncle had touched him in….long and terrible years.

"They are." Ben nodded, uncaring that his voice hitched.

Eventually, Luke was one of the people he would apologize to. And just outside the door Ben sensed Rey and his mother….they, too, were owed something.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Ok, I have reached the end of my original musings, but this is not the end! There will be updates though there is no telling where they will be- beginning, middle, end, nobody knows! Clearly our story can't end here.

* * *

Tena came to the door by the hall, looking winded from her journey. Rey had stayed there, stalwart sentinel, when Luke emerged, thoughtful, and told her that he was going to go meditate on what had happened. Rey had no idea if that was a positive or negative sign. Leia had eyed him with suspicion and followed him, turning pointedly to Rey saying "Stay out of that room."

Rey had held up her hands in defense.

She had been there ever since- some hours. It surprised her when Tena came to the door. Tena cleared her throat to get Rey's attention and Rey immediately put a wall of the Force up-a force of habit since Luke had been instructing her- but calmed when she saw Tena. She had been worried for the Ke'Lani woman as she had only seen her when they first brought her in from the battlefield covered in blood and her skin so blue Rey was certain she was dead. Rey was still learning what the wide world looked like, it seemed to her that the Ke'Lani people, and Tena in particular, were much stronger than they looked.

"Yes?" Rey asked awkwardly, "Do you need something? Should I get someone?"

Tena's smile deepened, "No, thank you. I note that the General has been gone for some time and is likely to stay that way….we wanted to know if you would like to come in?"

Rey froze.

 _Well yes…...but Leia said no. Luke didn't say anything though._

Rey forgot that the Ke'Lani were versed in the Force and she heard Tena's tentative reply, _I have gotten a Solo child in trouble before by telling them to listen to themselves first….but nonetheless. What do_ you _want Rey?_

Rey paused. She hadn't been asked that much recently, since she had chosen the Rebellion and found Luke everyone assumed her path was laid out, her choices made. She had been sifting through her muddled memories trying to figure out if she liked the choices she made-if she agreed with them.

"Do you….remember me?" Rey asked.

Tena nodded sadly, "I knew you by a different name then, though I have to say Ben kept us rather far apart….I think he was nervous you could slip into his head easily and might tell people what was going on."

Rey's face tightened into a smile, "I don't remember any of that."

Tena shrugged, unconcerned, "When you are meant to, you will."

Tena's surety gave Rey confidence, comfort even, and Rey stood up, feeling like her choice was made though she felt awkward making it.

 _I have always wanted a mother and now that I have one I'm intentionally disobeying her…._

Tena's voice again echoed _Skywalkers and Solos rarely do as they are told...she should know that by now._

Rey wasn't entirely sure she was ready for what lay beyond that door but she was sure she was going through it one way or another, right now. Her heart was pounding and she was so focused on that she almost missed Tena's partial limp- but she reached out and looped an arm around the woman's waist, eyes suddenly on Tena instead of ahead.

They didn't need to be ahead, she could already tell he was staring at her.

He was standing next to the crib and quickly crossed the room to get to Tena, looping an arm around her, mirroring Rey. Together they helped her back to her sleep-couch and she gladly accepted it, "This has been my longest day in some time, I think I'm nearly done with it."

Ben looked over at Rey awkwardly and nodded, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Rey's voice cracked, her discomfort suddenly in her throat. When Tena laid down brother and sister had to face one another, inches apart, in a way they had not seen one another since Kylo Ren had tried to torture her for information on BB-8. She had been on the edges of his vision, just outside of interacting with him, causing the First Order sufficient hell while he had been preoccupied with Hux and Tena and the chaos in his head.

They looked at one another outright- when he wasn't in his imposing suit and cloak he looked much more normal and she thought she could see heavy lines of Han's face in him. He saw his mother so clearly in Rey he was surprised he missed it the first time he saw her. She flinched when she looked at his scar, remembering when she gave it to him and contemplated taking his head off with the next stroke, and she frowned slightly, "I'm sorry about that."

Ben touched his scar and smirked wryly, "I doubt that. From what I remember I was lucky to have kept my head."

Rey blushed and shrugged, "Beginner's luck? And you were shot."

He put a hand over the Bowcaster scar-they both skirted around discussing why the Wookie that had been there when they were born chose to shoot him.

"Muscle memory." Ben suggested, "I was an idiot not to see it, not to see…"

Rey shrugged innocently, "I didn't see it either…...did Luke….do I look….how did you not recognize me?"

Ben's eyes looked distant, "I spared you that night but I assumed you... Then Luke disappeared and they announced your death...the news of the funeral got back to me in the First Order, the General made a point to announce it. You don't recognize what you aren't looking for….I thought you were dead and the part of my head that you were in was so quiet. I realize now it's because Luke closed it down when he erased your memory, it was to protect you…. such a brilliantly simple solution. I wonder that he had the nerve to let her think you were dead."

Rey noticed he didn't say the word _mother_ or even _Leia_. She was always just _her_ or _the General_ as if Ben was holding himself to some form of account, some secret score that he hadn't settled enough to call Leia mother anymore. Though there was a distant feeling in Rey's heart, a longing, a love, and she recognized it as Ben's-he had always missed his mother, though he'd have died before admitting it. Rey petted the insecurity like a shy blurrg and showed him her own _I don't even know what to do with her-or you- or any of this. Any connection I had to it all was erased and what I know since then….it's all changed what I might have thought before._

Ben showed her a picture of his mask and then thought about his old face, then his new.

 _You hit the nail on the head_. She chuckled darkly, a sound which intrigued the little bundles in the crib that were feeling like insufficient attention was being given to them. They both let out shrill shrieks of disapproval and Ben smiled warmly- a smile that transformed his whole face. For a moment, just a second, Rey felt like she had seen that smile a thousand times and she heard a laugh in her head she was positive was Ben's- she saw a flicker, just a moment, of him as a child, laughing from on top of Chewbacca's shoulders as she raised her arms up at the Wookie and begged to join.

Ben's head shot over to her at the memory and he felt his chest tighten-she _was_ his sister.

Rey shook her head to clear it, neatly packing her emotions into a little suitcase to be aired out later. Silently Tena saw the practice and approved. Rey leaned over to look at the babies- they were both looking at her wide-eyed and she was struck by their presence: they were exceedingly lovely little creatures that might have been dolls if they hadn't been breathing. Their skin was iridescent like frosted glass, their eyes were warm brown that were exactly like Ben's (and whose, she realized with a start, were precisely like his father's), and their smathering of hair was pitch black. One of them, the boy, yawned widely at her and she saw a little pink mouth while the girl was rubbing one hand over her face and the pearl-pink fingernails seemed to glow against her alabaster skin. They had all the normal baby traits one could hope for-full cheeks, bowed lips, long luscious lashes and flawless skin.

"They're gorgeous." She cooed without stopping to think about protocol. Rey reacted to situations, any situation, with her completely natural self, unconcerned with whether or not that was right and appropriate at the time. Tena liked this about her immensely and wished Ben could see how Rey did it-by letting go of how the rest of the world was turning, of what they thought, of whether or not they were dissecting her every move. Rey crouched low and leaned on the rail of the crib, reaching one finger out towards the girl who immediately grabbed it and began gumming it, Rey continued to whisper in a soothing falsetto, "So you are the little wonders behind so much fuss. Do you have any idea how much trouble everyone has gone through to get you here safely?"

In her head she got a sharp feeling like someone had poked her with the Force and the impetus behind the poke seemed to think that everyone being here, trouble or no, was just fine indeed. Rey went wide eyed and looked at Ben, "Can she….?"

Rey didn't know what to call it.

"We don't really know what it is but it's her. Owen can do it too."

"Owen?" Rey perked up, "That's a good name. What about her?"

Tena leaned over the cradle and was eye level with Rey, smiling calmly, "Hana."

Rey felt her pulse skip and her immediate thought was _Does Leia know_? Obviously not. Luke might have and now Rey did but she guessed that Ben might save telling Leia...it would be a poor thing for her to learn by chance. Rey watched the baby gum her finger, utterly disinterested in the worries of the big-people, and then Hana yawned and turned away from Rey's finger, gripping her brother's arm. As if she signalled him Owen turned towards her and they nuzzled together, sleeping. Ben found himself happy they spent so much time sleeping these last few weeks- it was giving everyone, himself included, an opportunity to catch their breath. He knew it wasn't going to last- he knew there would be a time in the not-so-distant future when he looked back on this time with longing, and so he appreciated it even more now. Rey stroked Owen's baby-fine hair and looked back at her brother, "Are you...with us now?"

Ben thought about the question seriously, not wanting to promise something he wouldn't keep, "I'm not with Snoke or the Order. I'm definitely with Tena and the twins… I don't think the Rebellion will take me, and I don't know that that's a bad thing. A lot of my beliefs haven't changed just because Snoke and I came to a non-negotiable impasse."

Rey eyed him suspiciously, and tried to joke with him though it came out half-serious, "You aren't going to kill us all in our sleep?"

"No." Ben shook his head, trying to phrase what he was saying carefully and precisely, "I know you don't remember what happened that I turned but I was always questioning, always pulled in two directions. Nothing has changed on that account. Being here doesn't mean the Dark Side is silent for me, doesn't mean I don't see the appeal. But it means that I found the ceiling of sacrifices I was willing to make for the Dark Side before it stopped making sense to me and I had to choose a different path. I don't want to scare you or startle you- but I don't know that I'm ready to hug you either."

Rey chewed on that, nodding. After a moment she asked, "Why didn't you kill me?"

Ben was impressed that she didn't hold back, "Because I loved you, because you felt like a part of me that I wasn't able to cut out. I left you there, defenseless, and in danger, but I couldn't deliver the blow myself. You were the first test I failed."

That made Rey purse her lips- she knew he had killed plenty of other people that night. _Those must have been tests you passed_.

 _Yes_. Ben's answer came seamlessly and she furrowed her brow, pointedly saying _I haven't mastered how to turn this on and off-you'll be polite and stick to your own thoughts._

Ben held up his hands to her in a surrendering gesture then shuffled his feet, "Are you going to ask the next question?"

"I thought I asked you to stay out of my head?" Rey snipped.

"I don't have to be in your head to know what's on your mind. There's a big question nobody is asking….ask it, if you are so inclined."

Rey looked down at the sleeping babies and took a deep breath as though asking this question could stir a fight, "Why did you kill Han?"

Ben followed her eyes and watched the even breathing of the babies' chests. He was silent, utterly silent, and deep in thought. He reached out a finger and ran it up and down the little limbs of the little bodies that he had created-they hadn't asked for him as a father, he didn't get consulted on the matter, and he was now thrust into the role and trying desperately to do it well. He felt that urge deep in his bones- he wanted to be a good father to them. It was this more than anything else that connected him to Vader and to Han- _wanting_ to do right by your children and _doing_ the right thing were different. Ben had already set his children up for a rough start though it would be the last thing he had wanted for them.

He had been so resentful of Han's distance, of his perceived favoritism of Rey, of his constant trips and cavalier way of brushing off Ben's attempts to be close to him. Ben had wanted so badly for so long for Han to just sweep in where Ben was training and take the boy away on an adventure, to make him a smuggler, to let him be _anything_. Ben always saw Han's decision to make Ben a Jedi as a refusal of responsibility.

But perspectives change.

It was easy for Ben to see the truth now: Han felt inadequate. He had two Force-sensitive children and a Force-sensitive wife, he was the brother-in-law of the only Jedi left in the galaxy. How could he, a smuggler that chance had woven into the Skywalkers' lives, argue against taking the two strongest apprentices away from the New Jedi? How could he have given Ben what Luke had? How could he have bonded with a boy he knew was smarter, hell _wiser_ , than he'd ever been? Han had felt like he was sparing his kids the embarrassment of him by keeping his distance even though it hurt like hell and he hated doing it.

"I didn't understand him." Ben said finally, "And I thought killing him would be...easy. I thought I hated him."

 _Doesn't make a lick of difference now to say I'm sorry….Dad. But I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I don't expect you to forgive me_.

Rey hadn't meant to listen to the last part, but she heard it all the same.


	8. Chapter 8

There was one person he hadn't approached yet. Part of him was afraid- Wookies had a reputation of being grudge-holders that went into sudden rages, he knew the only way to survive that attack would be to kill Chewie.

 _Perhaps it's fair turnaround, he already tried to kill me_.

Tena eyed him from the bed, looking up from her book, and interjected _Chewie can shoot a tick off of a Muk's ass from a hundred yards. He shoots a weapon that can burn straight through armor. If he wanted to kill you that day he wouldn't have missed._

"That doesn't mean he won't thrash me around like a cub." Ben ran a hand through his hair, remembering the times as a kid Chewie had accidentally rubbed his head too hard or patted him without thinking and nearly took chunks out of him. Wookies weren't exactly made for delicate interactions.

"He wouldn't hurt them." Tena's voice was firm, solid, as though she was telling him that her planet's sky was a pale purple. Not for the first time he resented how easily she could stand her ground on her beliefs, they became as sure to her as breathing.

She was listening to his thoughts increasingly and she watched him as he thought about her, her sage advice from such a young place, and something clicked for him, "It's all connected for your people, isn't it? Like the way you used the Force."

She cocked an eyebrow and slammed her book shut, "I told you...this isn't how you and I will discuss it again. My treason is my treason, I don't have to keep committing it over and over."

She had said that before but he sensed there was a riddle in it, a way to get the answers he was so curious about.

 _You aren't wrong._ He heard her voice in his head, a gentle echo that might have belonged to a ghost, _But first you should consider how to reach out to Chewie._

Ben gruffly chuckled _Reaching might leave me without arms._

Tena laughed lightly and crossed from the bed to where his chair and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, _It just so happens I have two usable ones you could borrow in such an event._

* * *

The Wookie was more intimidating than Ben remembered him, but he was also growling which didn't help. Ben felt the hair raise on the back of his neck: logic suggested running, or at least arming himself. Another part of him wanted to throttle the Wookie, to test his strength, to cheat and defeat the mighty, impervious Chewbacca, who had been a constant presence at his father's side. Tena was finishing up feeding the twins in the back bedroom and had sent Ben out here on his own. Part of him darkly wondered if it was because in the hallway he could be heard if he cried for help.

Tena was listening in to the conversation though she had to admit that if she only used her ears it sounded ridiculous- one voice and one set of seemingly indeterminable growls and barks.

"Hello Chewie."

 _BARK GROWL GROWL GROWL snarl._

"I'm sorry, _Chewbacca_."

A bark with a chirp.

Silence.

A trilling low and a sort of quiet mew.

"It doesn't hurt, thank you….it did leave an impressive scar."

An almost inquiring hum and a bark.

Ben's voice tightened with embarrassment and frustration, "Well she didn't beat me for a lack of effort on my part, you had just shot me with a Bowcaster."

Chewie had an extended lowing sound that rolled and twisted. He then snarled and barked and she heard a stomp like he put his foot down.

Tena looked down at Hana who was just finishing her meal and whispered, "I hope your father isn't in a puddle at the Wookie's feet."

Hana gurgled and continued suckling, she was going to eat before dealing with whatever was making the noise outside of the door.

"You'll have to wait a moment longer Chewie" - a growl- " _Chewbacca_ , they're eating."

A growling bark that almost sounded like a whoop.

"I know you don't mind if they eat while we talk, but I'm partial to keeping Tena's breasts to myself."

A rolling bark.

Even Ben managed a cutting, uncomfortable chuckle, "I bet you are quite the expert. That line ever work?"

A light bark followed by a heavy one. Silence. Then a growl.

"I know...I don't expect you to forgive me."

 _That's quite enough Hana, we have to save your father from this_. Tena explained as she detached the infant, throwing the baby over her shoulder to pat, despite the babies frustrated whimpers.

Tena fixed the front of her tunic and called out, "Come in."

What seemed like an impossibly large fur rug entered the door first and poignantly took a step away from Ben. Chewie had come strapped with his gun even to make the seemingly required pilgrimage to see the twins. Ben nodded at Tena and walked over to the bed where Owen was laying on his back looking like a fat complacent pup. Ben picked the baby up and felt relieved instantly, he thought it was a good bet that Chewie wouldn't shoot him while holding an infant.

"Hello Chewie." Tena nodded at him. He responded with a couple of light, quick barks.

Ben translated, "He says hello and wants me to be sure to tell you that only his friends call him Chewie, and so you are perfectly welcome to do so."

Tena cocked an eyebrow at Ben, "I suppose you aren't allowed to call him that?"

Ben nodded stiffly. Chewie sniffed the air and seemed to crouch lower, a low whining bark rolled out of him.

"He wants to take a closer look at them."

Tena smiled and pulled the baby off of her shoulder, holding her baby out to the giant bear-like creature, "Do you remember how to hold one?"

Chewie cocked his head, barking softly and nodding, accepting the baby in his massive paws and making the tiny baby look even smaller than she already was. For a long moment Chewie looked at her, smelled her, and was making deep sounds in his chest, almost purring. Ben's face brightened, "I remember that sound…..you used to do that when we couldn't sleep."

Chewie snippily barked at Ben and Ben looked over to Tena, "He said _I'm ignoring you, there's a much better behaved baby here than you_ ….I'm hardly a baby Chewie."

The Wookie brayed a bit and Ben blushed. Tena's brow furrowed when Ben wouldn't translate and she poked into his head _What did he say?_

 _He said that I should stop acting like one then_.

Chewie sensed Ben's embarrassment and seemed to crow a bit.

 _You killed his best friend, Ben. He isn't done making you pay for that. Don't let take the day off track._

Ben didn't respond but she sensed his deep indignation- he had always been the most hurt by Han and Chewie's refusal to see his power, his prestige, his growth.

Chewie looked over at Tena and whimper-barked in long soft syllables. She could hear that his growling really did have intonation.

"Ben?" She reminded him.

His eyes were distant, haunted, "He wants to know what we call them."

Tena locked eyes with him. _You should do it._

 _He doesn't respect me and he won't forgive me._

 _No...especially if you refuse to make a gesture._

Ben didn't want to face it but Tena saw a glimpse of the emotion behind it, behind how hard Chewie was for him, and she said _Han gets to haunt you regardless of whether or not people understand you or forgive you….he'll haunt you even if Chewbacca learns to be around you again._

Ben tried to keep his thoughts to himself, she felt the pull back and let him have his space.

After a long moment Ben walked over to Chewie and handed over the second baby, Chewie's hands were more than ample enough for the twins, and then Ben took a deep breath, "We named him Owen, after the man who raised Luke."

Chewie intoned a mellow roar, and Ben looked at Tena, "He asked if that was your idea."

Tena smiled, "I was rather in favor of Tele, my father's childhood nickname. But it didn't sound right with her name. Ben picked her name first...and it was so _right_ we had to work around it."

Chewie cocked his head and barked inquiringly.

Ben couldn't look him in the eyes, "No I didn't pick Vader…..I picked Hana."

Chewie went stock still, looking at Ben, and finally Ben raised his eyes to Chewie's, "You heard it right. I named her after him."

After a second Chewie barked, rather loudly, and both of the infants looked startled so he quickly looked down at them and began the purring noise again.

Tena didn't need Ben to translate- it was clear: _Why kill him then? Why do this?_

Ben shook his head, "Any answer I give you won't be enough Chewie. Nothing will make sense. Nothing will make it magically fall into place."

Chewie didn't growl at him over the name. Tena and Ben watched as Chewie hummed and purred to the babies, lowering his great shaggy head towards them, letting them grab and pull and tug on his long rough hair. Ben inched closer to Tena but kept watching Chewie-the Wookie was making noise but with his head down Ben had trouble understanding it. He leaned closer but Tena touched his arm, holding him back, and gestured at the Wookie's shoulders.

Ben couldn't understand him because he was crying.

Over the subsequent weeks Chewie made it part of his daily ritual to check on what he now called _his little snow pups_ (an odd string of purring-grunts Tena had eventually learned meant something). When she was finally feeling strong enough to go outside she asked if Chewie wanted to go with her- Ben had gone back to the training mats for the first time since the twins' birth. She wasn't sure how she was going to communicate with the Wookie but as he nodded and grunted she heard a voice in her head _Sounds good_.

She immediately stared at him.

"Chewie….could you do that all along?"

 _Yes._ Bark.

Chewie gathered up both the babies in one hand and kept the other by Tena as she walked, in case she needed to lean on him. It had been almost two months now and she was going to have to push herself harder: it wasn't fair to the Ke'Lani around her that she continued to recuperate here while she was exiled.

 _You've chosen an odd time to be transparent...why have you been making Ben translate for you all this time._

The Wookie laughed. _Humans always sound silly translating Wookie._

"Not as bad as speaking it, I imagine."

 _True….Han used to try, it was very funny._

Tena smiled but she sensed the Wookie's nostalgia and his pain. He was quiet for a moment before offering _Besides, it very good for the winter pup to have to translate. Makes him think about other people._

"Winter pup?" Tena eyed him, "Ben? What's that supposed to mean?"

A long Wookie cry that no longer scared the babies but rather, conversely, caused them both to wail their hands and try to grab Chewie's face.

 _Old story. On_ _Kashyyyk when pups are born in winter they come out black. Black everywhere- outside, inside. Story says winter pups are so cold and always hear talk of sun and warmth- it confuses them, makes them angry. Winter pups are angry all the time. They bite, they growl, they don't get along easily. When you offer them space in a litter by the fire they go off on their own, rather be cold than with others. They aren't bad, but that's hard to tell._

Tena nodded slowly, "How do you help them?"

 _Give them charge of the spring pups. Makes them see beyond the cold._

She realized as he told the story that whenever he said _winter pup_ it was the same sound he made when she thought he was saying Ben's name. When she asked him about it the answer was simple: of course he never called Ben _Ben_. That was silly.

"Why?" She asked as Chewie lifted the babies high in the air and let them flail their chubby limbs around happily.

 _No word for that name._

"So you give us all names with words in your language?"

Chewie nodded.

"What's Leia?"

Chewie double-grunted _Intimidating Princess with Almost Enough Fur._

"Luke?"

A braying sound. _Sand Rat._

"Really?"

Chewie nodded, _Still same sand rat we found long time ago._

"Rey?"

Short piping barks _Pilot, now. When she was little I call her Sun Pup. Always bright._

"Han?"

Chewie was silent for a moment. It was a lilting roar. _Life friend. Also, sometimes Stupid Life Friend._

"Me?"

Chewie lowed, rolling the sound around in a circle.

 _Hope._

* * *

 ** _A/N:_** _I wasn't going to put this up yet because it is brand-spanking new to the evolving story and I wasn't sure I liked it. I might tweak it but I couldn't help myself. I like that Wookie._


End file.
